Bruises

How is it that I can get:

• a mystery bruise from god-knows-what on my wrist and another on my upper arm
• a constellation of mystery bruises on my right leg
• a big purple bruise on the front of my ankle where I banged it on my desk
• a horrible junkie-bruise in the crook of my elbow(which lasted a week) from having blood drawn
  
• assorted bruises on both legs at desk and coffee table height

but after I slipped, both feet flying out from under me cartoon-style, to land heavily on my left hip on the rock-hard tiles of the kitchen floor, not even the slightest discoloration has shown up the next day?

***

I actually wrote this a few days ago but had other stuff scheduled... In the meantime, a bruise about two inches across and a fetching shade of cornflower blue palest lavender deep violet has risen slowly to the surface of my skin like a shy, overweight Loch Ness Monster.