Maybe if he was called Totally Innocent Whale, but uh...

Okay so first of all I am sorry for being a crappy blog-friend and not reading all your completely brilliant blog posts lately. Trust me, it's not you, it's me. I'll try to do better if you'll just give me another chance... Here, see these Krispy Kremes I bought you? A dozen of your favorite flavor.

...Second of all, have y'all heard about the killer whale at SeaWorld that dragged his trainer under by her ponytail and drowned her? Oh, they tried to lull us into a false sense of security by calling themselves orcas, but it didn't take. Apparently this same critter had been involved in two other deaths as well, and SeaWorld is still acting like everything will be fine and he's not being kept away from people or whatever. (Or whatever? Great writing skills there, S&C. Don't give up your day job, honey).

Basically don't answer any Help Wanted ads at SeaWorld, is what I'm saying.

Remember the tiger that tried to maul Siegfried-or-Roy, and that surrogate-baby monkey that, like, ate someone's face? When will people learn? I mean, we cat-owners know that our cats would eat our corpses, but at least they'll wait until we die first. Hooray for domestication!

Travel tip

If the airport you're leaving from has a decent duty free section, go in and find the most expensive face moisturizer that has a tester available, and discreetly slather your face in it.
That one that's made out of, like, stem cells & lamb DNA should work, but the one I used was an some kind of organic, plant-based, thin greenish goo.
My face was still baby-soft, like, 26 hours and 3 planes later. Usually I get so dried out I look flaky as hell and wrinkled like a dried apricot.


What's your best travel tip?

Fashion forward, me.

Today I am sporting a glamorous ensemble of:

• vintage polar fleece top with custom grubbiness at cuffs and pockets

• mildly distressed t-shirt

• sweatpants with delicate all-over pilling, subtle remnants of the original screenprint motif and drawstrings gently chewed by a feline stylist

• sneakers wittily inspired by the stylings of rather more expensive sneakers, and accented with"paint-splatter" detail

All this paired with the fresh, natural "no make-up" look and the "messy" bun hairdo seen on runways throughout Fashion Week!

What's your Sunday best?