Outrageous.

I got an award!!!
Thanks Cora (or should I say Mrs. Scope)!!! You are a lovely lady and I am so glad you fell headlong into love and that you share about it on your blog!



Of course nothing in this world comes for free so here are the strings that were attached to this one:

•Express gratitude to the blogger who bestowed the award unto you. Done.
•Display the picture on your blog proudly. Done.
•Be nice and provide a link to the person who gave it to you. See above.
•Tell up to 6 outrageous lies about yourself, and at least 1 outrageous truth, or switch it around and tell 6 outrageous truths and 1 outrageous lie. See below.
•Nominate 7 creative writers who might be into doing this. You're not the boss of me! Plus, I like having blogger friends, and most of them have either already been tagged for this or hate doing it, so nuts to that.
•Post links to the seven blogs you nominate and let the owners of those blogs know. See above.


Oh God, where to begin? Here is something (non-outrageous) that is true about me: I lead a rather unexciting life. Here is another fact about me: although I am a dreadful comment whore, I don't always give my fellow bloggers as much comment love as I should. So in light of these facts, I have decided to make my list all about other bloggers.
So here are outrageous truths about some of* my fellow bloggers. Can you guess who they are? If not, click on the links and you will be magically transported to their blogs!

1. I met my husband when he left a comment on my blog (okay, this one was kind of a gimme).

2. I was once given a hat by Samuel L Jackson.

3. We are a group of girls with our religion in common. We talk about it extensively on our blog... and it's funny and charming and interesting!

4. I used my grandmother as an antenna. And that's not the most outrageous thing about me, just the cleanest.

5. I'm an accomplished artist well versed in classical art and history... from the same state as George W. Bush.


Gah! I only came up with five! Oh well, don't feel bad if you didn't make this list, just let me know your reason why you should be on it in the comments! (Or do a post about it, but don't forget to let me know about it!) I may even update my post if I think you're outrageous enough.



*"Some of", in this case, being the ones about whom I could recall something that I legitimately regard as outrageous.

Cicadasong

or, The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Poem about Cicadas.

You left your armor
clinging, empty
A hollow plaything
A zombie sentry

Now calling your lovers
to join in your song
Hordes in the trees
your voices are strong

Sing me to distraction
Sing me into dust
Sing to me all summer
for sing to me you must

When summer is gone
And you've done what you could
Your children will sleep safely
deep in the wood

Edited To Add: Wow. Perhaps I should have called it Cricketsong *crickets*. Anyway, who pronounces it cic-ay-da, and who pronounces it cic-ah-da?

Say What?

As much as I rail against people for not using the English language correctly*, I must admit there are some sayings that just don't make any damn sense. Here are a couple:

"Have your cake and eat it too"
I know what the meaning of this phrase is, I think; it's talking about not being satisfied and always wanting more than you deserve. But if you look at what it literally says, it's completely ridiculous. I know the Vegetable Assassin will back me up on this one. I mean, what is the point of having sweet delicious cake, if not to cram it down one's gullet? What possible circumstances could exist in which the having of the cake was enough?! What are you going to do, just keep it under a glass dome, taking it out occasionally to stare lovingly at the swirly peaks of frosting until the cake is old enough for baby spiders to come bursting out? Maybe that's good enough for Miss Haversham, but not this girl, no sir! I see a cake, I eat it.

"The exception that proves the rule"
This just makes my brain hurt like Mr Gumby. I'm not even sure I can understand what someone who uses this phrase is trying to say. I mean, surely if an example exists that goes against the conventional wisdom, doesn't that mean the conventional wisdom is wrong? For example, say you meet an Australian who hates beer and loathes cricket. Okay, perhaps it's unexpected, but how in the hell do you turn around and take that as proof that Aussies usually do love beer and cricket, rather than that perhaps you might have been taken in by a popular stereotype, and it's proof of the fact that the stereotype isn't true?!

Extra Credit Question: Dear Readers, what oddities of the English language (or another language, but please explain!) do you find perplexing?


*I think using the wrong your/you're should be punishable by torture, and I have been known to shout at the television during misuse of the word literally...