A Caring and Sharing Week Household Tip

I’m about to share with y’all possibly the weirdest household tip you’ll ever receive.

Having recently mourned the passing of my garlic crusher, I am reduced to chopping garlic by hand. This is all well and good, but a lady doesn’t like to have stinky garlic fingers.

A friend told me about the odor-eating properties of stainless steel. Mama’s not paying fifteen dollars for a hunk of metal when the whole sink is made of the stuff, so after chopping up the garlic one night, I rubbed my fingers on the bottom of our stainless steel sink.

Result: my fingers smelt less like garlic… and more like whatever crap was all over the bottom of the sink.

But I wasn’t giving up, oh no. So I thought about it, and one night as I was rinsing out Husband’s coffee plunger, it came to me.

Hadn’t I learned from Axel Foley that coffee grinds were used by drug cartels to mask the odor of Colombian marching powder? So I rubbed my fingers on the sink, then poured out a handful of wet, used coffee grinds and rubbed my hands with them like they were LaMer or something.

Result: my fingers smelled hardly at all of garlic, but rather a lot like coffee. A quick re-wash with regular liquid hand soap, and my fingers were scented like the daintiest spring flowers, and delightfully soft from the incidental exfoliation!

Share your weirdest household tips in the comments!

Analyze This. I Dare You.

I was visiting Australia, on my way to have dinner with two friends. At the bus stop, there was a young woman, a kindly old lady and a skeevy young dude. The old lady leered and creepily presented the younger lady with an uncooked hot dog from her purse.

When I arrived at the restaurant, I told my friends about this, but even though it had just happened, I already changed parts of the story (this is something I do frequently. I call it enhancement).

Then I was at the beach. Suddenly a giant white tube started coming up out of the ocean. It turned into a Chinese dragon, similar to Falkor from The Neverending Story, except not as furry. It looked like it was made of plastic. It began to speak and told us that was an alien god and that it would tell us the meaning of life. The words began to form on a giant tablet rising out of the ocean...

And then I woke up.