Okay so first of all I am sorry for being a crappy blog-friend and not reading all your completely brilliant blog posts lately. Trust me, it's not you, it's me. I'll try to do better if you'll just give me another chance... Here, see these Krispy Kremes I bought you? A dozen of your favorite flavor.
...Second of all, have y'all heard about the killer whale at SeaWorld that dragged his trainer under by her ponytail and drowned her? Oh, they tried to lull us into a false sense of security by calling themselves orcas, but it didn't take. Apparently this same critter had been involved in two other deaths as well, and SeaWorld is still acting like everything will be fine and he's not being kept away from people or whatever. (Or whatever? Great writing skills there, S&C. Don't give up your day job, honey).
Basically don't answer any Help Wanted ads at SeaWorld, is what I'm saying.
Remember the tiger that tried to maul Siegfried-or-Roy, and that surrogate-baby monkey that, like, ate someone's face? When will people learn? I mean, we cat-owners know that our cats would eat our corpses, but at least they'll wait until we die first. Hooray for domestication!
numer darowizny: SRTF/067/SWD .
1 month ago
25 comments:
I like to think that if I died during my sleep, my cat would gnaw on my body a bit before anyone found me so it'd be a bit more like a CSI crime scene.
My favorite story along these lines is the dude who stayed up in Alaska with the Grizzly bears. Yeah, they accepted him just fine, right up to the point where they needed something to use as a toothpick...
You forgot to mention the idiots that insist pit bulls are "loving pets" if only they're trained right. Wild is wild.
Another reason I like seals. They don't usually grab people by their ponytails and drown them.
But then all of this is one more reason why I rarely wear my hair in a ponytail.
Remember that when you notice the cat is licking you. That's not some kind of "grooming / bonding" moment. It's really just tasting you, savoring your savoriness.
And there was that Grizzly bear guy, too.
Oh, and don't forget your mate from down under. Not exactly the same, but still.
Excellent point about the cats. I'm stealing it and using it in my "Why we need to get a cat" speech. Thanks!
WellFed - It adds excitement!
SkyDad - Heh, I haven't heard of that one! I love bears, but I prefer them at a distance behind a moat and an electric fence, just like Nature intended.
WWW - Well, that's not wild though, that's bred for aggression. But I still wouldn't use one as a babysitter.
BeckEye - Seals are happy as long as you keep up a constant supply of fish and don't try to get close to their babies.
Scope - Yep, just taste-testing ; )
Jocelyn - Hahaha, nice. May I also recommend: Cats dispose of their OWN poop and wash themselves (unlike dogs).
Yeah, this couldn't have at a worse time for me. I had almost gotten over my fear of Orcas on Segways.
Looks like more therapy for me...
One word: Sushi
And lets not forget the woman who jumped into the polar bear enclosure at some zoo. I think she had mental health problems, but you have to wonder why anyone thinks that's a good idea.
I only wear fake ponytails for special occasions. Now wouldn't that surprise some big old homicidal fish-mammal-thingy.
mjenks - Uh-oh! PS - I like your new avatar! How long has it taken me to notice?
Hunter - Mmm, murderous lunch treats!
Mme DeF - Oh yeah! That is just asking for trouble. Polar bears are badasses.
Wendy B - Hahaha "Nylon?! WTF?"
Excitement, yes! I want to make at least one person vomit after I die. lolol
Sometimes, when I'm sleeping soundly, Onyx bites my toe. I think she's just checking if I'm alive...waiting for her chance...
This wouldn't have happened if they'd had hamsters instead of killer whales. When will people ever learn?
WellFed - Haha, I always have to remember not to watch CSI type shows during dinnertime.
Sam - Heh "What?! I'm just checking!"
Simon - I would pay good money to see a trained hamster show.
The show was called "Dine with Shamu"?? Talk about tempting fate, Sea World.
Ditto sister.
I'm right there wit cha.
Killer whale indeed.
Bea - Haha, right?!
Candy - He's only doing what his nature tells him to!
Or that dude who kept a man-eating python slithering around loose in his apartment AND THEN STARVED IT SO IT HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO EAT HIM. Smart. Very smart.
Cora - That's a candidate for the Darwin Awards right there.
The problems are right at the root. Killer Whale kindergardens are appalling and run by total jerks. Hell, the poor blighters don't even get taught to read and write any more.
Mo - It's just so sad! Won't somebody think of the (killer whale) children?!
Wow I really don;t want to be eaten but I am kind of hoping my goldfish loves me. As for the animals mean as it sounds I do think wild means wild - you can't fight nature.
Kate xx
Kate - I am sure your goldfish loves you! A Thai fighting fish on the other hand... ; )
Elle - Welcome : ) - humans are not the sharpest crayons in the box sometimes.
Post a Comment