In the dentist's waiting room, a large woman with an extreme mullet (crew-cut in the front and waist length waves in the back) loudly discussed her gastric bypass surgery and then proudly described her checkers set...
...the pieces of which were shot glasses...
...with Dale Earnhardt Junior for one side and NASCAR for the other...
...She picked up this gem for the incredible sum of fifteen dollars at Big Lots*.
And I am a terrible person, because I could not keep a straight face. I'm not made of stone, people. But honestly, good for her. We should all be made so happy so easily. But perhaps with better haircuts.
*A dreadful discount goods store where everything is either broken, overpriced for its quality level, unbelievably tacky, or some combination of these three.
numer darowizny: SRTF/067/SWD .
1 month ago
32 comments:
Well I always say to make an item "classy" you just need to add NASCAR...
:)
It wasn't this fine young lady was it?
http://www.bogancentral.com/images/coolest_female_mullets_1.jpg
VA - Pretty much. That and some chewin' tobaccy ; )
SkyDad - That is actually alarmingly close, only this lady had institutional-style short bangs (that's a fringe to non-Americans) and wasn't as attractive as that silver fox. : )
I think the fact that she plays chess might possibly put her in a new, previously undiscovered category of mulleted obesoids. She might be smarter than she appears. Any chance she did her own surgery? That would be like totally ...
The amazing part to me is that someone who follows Nascar would be at a dentist's office? :)
NASCAR fans who like Dale, Jr. can't be trusted. He sucks ass.
Also, Big Lots used to be called Pic-N-Save, which explains pretty much everything.
Maybe the mullet is the secret to happiness? You should try it out. Buy yourself a checkers set too. Just in case that is the secret. If none of that works you could just become a NASCAR driver.
Cooper - Well I must admit that I don't play either game (strategy is not my strong point) but I rather think checkers is maybe not as intellectually demanding as chess. However, it would be lovely if you were correct.
Reed - Hahahahaha, good call ; )
WWW - Haha, you know something about Nascar! Also, Pic N Save had to be dumbed down? That's a weep for humanity moment right there.
Mo - Heehee. You know it is really rather a practical haircut (my hair is all long and it gets in my face all the time), it's a pity that it's so eye-searingly ugly.
I find it funny she was so open about gastric bypass. maybe the checkers set was a gift for making it through the surgery and Dale Jr. was her dream that kept her going?
LOL @ Words! I remember when Big Lots was Pic-N-Save. Ohhhhhhhh the booger jokes that once inspired....
*misty-eyed reminiscence*
Trinity - Haha, very possible.
Cors - Hahahaha, gold. You are so cute waxing nostalgic (nose-talgic?) about booger jokes!
Was she wearing a fanny pack?
Well you know what they always say, 'Nascar Mullet' is an anagram for 'Screams all nut'.
Or maybe it was 'Me carnal slut', I can't remember...
BeckEye - Heehee, I'm sure she was wearing one in spirit if not in reality.
Eric - Oh Lord please, I do not need the word "carnal" near this person, lovely though she may be on the inside...
Mullets
*shivers*
βe - Heh, it's instinctive isn't it?
BWAHAAHAHAHAHA!
That's just fricken hilarious...
.....BWAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
People of Walmart, perhaps?!
Well Fed & Candy - I love that you have the same laugh : ) and yes, I could definitely envision her as a Person of Walmart.
This. Just. Made. My.
LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE
If only you'd gotten video! Ahahahaha!
LiLu - Heeheehee. It was jut... such a perfect confluence of stereotypes, one after another like, bam! obesity. bam! mullet. bam! shot glass checkers. bam! nascar. bam! fifteen dollars. bam! big lots.
Hahahahahahhaha
S&C, you made my day and filled it with laughter. Well actually, Bea's video made my day (and I bet yours too), but you came in close second with this.
"Advance Australia."
Mr C - Heh, I knew you would like this one Mr C. : )
Big Lots. Yah, my inlaws bought me a deck umbrella from there. It lasted about two weeks. Waste of their 10 bucks, that's for sure.
whosmydaddy - (it feels funny typing your name ; ) Heh. I can imagine. The look of the place doesn't inspire confidence in their products.
Did she have a fleece with pictures of wolves on it too?
Madame DeF - Sadly no, that would have made my life complete, I think. I like to imagine she has an eagle painted on black velvet at home though.
To this day, mullets crack me up!! So i dont blame ya.
and i didnt know they had big lots in australia. we have it here too!
CA - they don't have it in Oz, I live in the US. : )
oh no way. how do i not know this?
CA - You need to pay more attention in class, missy!
; )
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