When I step out of the shower I feel glorious.
Full and luscious and soft, my skin plump with water and gently steaming like the fluffiest, whitest bun. My lime and brown sugar scrub makes me smell like the promise of a mojito.
Then I pull on my jeans... and suddenly I feel like a giant blob of sausage stuffed into not enough skin.
numer darowizny: SRTF/067/SWD .
1 month ago
26 comments:
I have no clue how old you are S&C, but I've definitely noticed that it's tougher to eat the same crap as when I was young and not gain anything.
I want a Dr Pepper Cherry Vanilla.
And that right there is why I never wear pants.
Tell me about it sister....Instead of muffin top, I got muffin toppling.
Beware those thoughts. Down that path lies nudism.
Mr C - Damn it, you're so right. I've definitely noticed that the last few years. And now I want a Dr P too!!!
SkyDad - Down with pants!!! ...Wait, that doesn't sound right ; )
Candy - Hahahaha, that's gold!
Scope - Oh man, nudism would be okay if it wasn't either so damn hot or so damn cold. Either way there are problems for nude bits!
DAMN THOSE PESKY PANTS!
All the more reason to put those PANTS ON THE GROUND.
I like to think my pants shrunk while I was showering, not that I expanded. That does not compute.
Hey...they make Dr Pepper Cherry Vanilla in diet, too. It's great.
xoxo
VA - I blame our dryer for the disparity between my pants and my body. Down with pants!
Char - The only thing more evil than too-tight pants is diet soda.
; ) Nah I just don't like the taste of artificial sweeteners.
I wanna mojito.
And a shower.
The Jules - But don't combine the two, that could get weird. ; )
Because of this post and the ensuing comments, I am now in the mood for a Dr Pepper Cherry Vanilla Mojito while showering and refusing to put on pants afterward.
I think you should go for a few months with no clothes whatsoever around your place so you can monitor your hourly progress to your goal.
To your husband: You're welcome.
Lola - Hahahaha, sounds like the perfect Sunday afternoon. Too bad it's Wednesday.
Eric - Hahaha, I KNOW he'd appreciate that plan.
This is why we all need to start wearing pajama jeans.
BeckEye - Oh man those sound comfortable. I'm in!
urg, I absolutely hate skinny jeans because they are so hard to put on, so hard to take off, so hard to run in - sue they look good but they are soo annoying
Maybe you should get some jeans that are the right size so you can stop feeling bad about yourself after a glorious shower.
βe - Skinny jeans are not for me!
WellFed - I did! And then they shrank in the dryer. : (
Down with pants!
That should definitely be someone's motto. Engraved under their family coat of arms. :)
Ever since I hit thirty it's just been a nightmare to keep the old girth under control. My blog doesn't help much either! ;)
Richard - Haha, yes! With a tasteful engraving of the ancestral Y-fronts.
; )
I'm right there with you, except I'm not obliged to eat candy as you are, I just do it anyway.
It's enough to make you vegetarian. Or have a cold shower.
M De F - Nooooo! Hahahaha
haHAHAHAHA love IT. This is why I shower at night. So my skin gets time to shrink and I can fit into my clothes.
Falling Up - Man! You are so smart!!! : )
Sweat pants. Or a flowy dress. That's the route I go when I'm feeling sausagey.
Cora - Yeah it'll have to be the flowy dress because it's about a million degrees down here! they would LITERALLY be sweat pants.
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