Say What?

As much as I rail against people for not using the English language correctly*, I must admit there are some sayings that just don't make any damn sense. Here are a couple:

"Have your cake and eat it too"
I know what the meaning of this phrase is, I think; it's talking about not being satisfied and always wanting more than you deserve. But if you look at what it literally says, it's completely ridiculous. I know the Vegetable Assassin will back me up on this one. I mean, what is the point of having sweet delicious cake, if not to cram it down one's gullet? What possible circumstances could exist in which the having of the cake was enough?! What are you going to do, just keep it under a glass dome, taking it out occasionally to stare lovingly at the swirly peaks of frosting until the cake is old enough for baby spiders to come bursting out? Maybe that's good enough for Miss Haversham, but not this girl, no sir! I see a cake, I eat it.

"The exception that proves the rule"
This just makes my brain hurt like Mr Gumby. I'm not even sure I can understand what someone who uses this phrase is trying to say. I mean, surely if an example exists that goes against the conventional wisdom, doesn't that mean the conventional wisdom is wrong? For example, say you meet an Australian who hates beer and loathes cricket. Okay, perhaps it's unexpected, but how in the hell do you turn around and take that as proof that Aussies usually do love beer and cricket, rather than that perhaps you might have been taken in by a popular stereotype, and it's proof of the fact that the stereotype isn't true?!

Extra Credit Question: Dear Readers, what oddities of the English language (or another language, but please explain!) do you find perplexing?


*I think using the wrong your/you're should be punishable by torture, and I have been known to shout at the television during misuse of the word literally...

Over to You: The true life story of...

What movie genre do you think the story of your life would be best suited to (and why)?

A romantic tearjerker? A Michael Bay blockbuster? Drama, thriller, black comedy?

Would it even be a movie? What about a TV show, or some other form like a comic book, an opera, or a photo essay?

I think my life story would be eerily similar to I Love Lucy: the wacky, attention-addicted wife with no logical thought processes who always gets into scrapes but somehow manages to be lovable... and stylishly dressed.

An Original Drafts blog? Whaddya reckon?

That paragon of blog excellence, The Imaginary Reviewer, was kind enough to suggest that my recently created Original Drafts feature should get the Chachi & Joanie treatment - its own spin-off blog.

I'm thinking about it, but I wanted to ask you guys, my reading public, some questions first*:

1. Would you read such a blog?
2. Would you be willing to submit song ideas (via email, most likely) in exchange for a pimpin' credit link on the post should your idea be used?
3. Would it be inexcusably lame if the same paper / handwriting were eventually reused for different songs (hey, there are only so many free paper textures and handwriting fonts out there!)

*Lurkers included!!! Please help a sister out.