Say What?

As much as I rail against people for not using the English language correctly*, I must admit there are some sayings that just don't make any damn sense. Here are a couple:

"Have your cake and eat it too"
I know what the meaning of this phrase is, I think; it's talking about not being satisfied and always wanting more than you deserve. But if you look at what it literally says, it's completely ridiculous. I know the Vegetable Assassin will back me up on this one. I mean, what is the point of having sweet delicious cake, if not to cram it down one's gullet? What possible circumstances could exist in which the having of the cake was enough?! What are you going to do, just keep it under a glass dome, taking it out occasionally to stare lovingly at the swirly peaks of frosting until the cake is old enough for baby spiders to come bursting out? Maybe that's good enough for Miss Haversham, but not this girl, no sir! I see a cake, I eat it.

"The exception that proves the rule"
This just makes my brain hurt like Mr Gumby. I'm not even sure I can understand what someone who uses this phrase is trying to say. I mean, surely if an example exists that goes against the conventional wisdom, doesn't that mean the conventional wisdom is wrong? For example, say you meet an Australian who hates beer and loathes cricket. Okay, perhaps it's unexpected, but how in the hell do you turn around and take that as proof that Aussies usually do love beer and cricket, rather than that perhaps you might have been taken in by a popular stereotype, and it's proof of the fact that the stereotype isn't true?!

Extra Credit Question: Dear Readers, what oddities of the English language (or another language, but please explain!) do you find perplexing?


*I think using the wrong your/you're should be punishable by torture, and I have been known to shout at the television during misuse of the word literally...

Soda Fountain of Knowledge Language Edition: Dero Moll

You have Season 3 of Australia's Next Top Model to thank for today's SFoK entry.

dero:
1. n. An unattractive, unkempt, disheveled person, possibly homeless. From derelict. Usually used in a pejorative rather than literal sense.
For example: "She's a total dero!"

2. adj. Having the appearance of a dero.
"You're such a dero moll!"

moll:
n. A woman of low class, in both appearance and behaviour.
For example: "I hope she gets eliminated next, because she's a moll."

Grammar Nazi: Me vs. I

I was going to be all cute and name this "Me, Myself & I", but I'm not opening the "myself" can o' worms.

Do I say "me" or "I"?

1.
Firstly, in either case always put the other people/person before yourself. This is good manners and it's also good grammar.
For example: Do not say "Me/I and Person X", say "Person X and me/I."

2.
The easiest rule is, if you take the other person/people out of the sentence it should still make sense.

For example:
"[Person X and] I went to the movies." You would never say "Me went to the movies", so you know you should not use "me"in that sentence.

"They gave candy to [Person X and] me." You would never say "They gave candy to I", so you know you should not use "I"in that sentence.

3.
It is technically correct to say "It is I", but "It is me" or "It's me" are so widely accepted nowadays as to be considered correct in all but the most formal situations.

And I'm all for the evolution of language unless it obfuscates* meaning, which I could go on and on about but this post is probably already long & boring enough.


*That was for you, mjenks. I know you love them five dollar words.

Chick-what-A?

In the United States, filet is spelled with one L and pronounced fill-AY.

In Australia, fillet is spelled with two Ls and pronounced FILL-it. Unless you are being fancy and French and referring to filet mignon.

In the United States, -er on the end of a word is pronounced -err, for example teacher would be pronounced teacherr.

In Australia, -er on the end of a word is pronounced more like -ah, for example teacher would be pronounced teachah.

In the United States, there is a fried-chicken fast-food chain called Chick-fil-A.


When Husband and I first saw this sign, we didn't know about the American pronunciation of fillet, so we said to each other in our Aussie accents "Chick Feeler? Why would you call your restaurant Chick Feeler?"

Soda Fountain of Knowledge (Language Edition): Fun Size Aussie Words

Strewth*! It's been a while since I've done a Soda Fountain of Knowledge post! Here is a collection of Aussie words, very typical in that they are merely shortened forms of existing words - I guess it's too bloody hot to say long words.

hanky: n. handkerchief
As in "Don't put that disgusting used hanky back in your pocket!"

nightie: n. nightgown
As in "I couldn't sleep last night, I was up & down like a bride's nightie!"

chewy: n. chewing gum
As in "Got any chewy, mate?"

ciggie: n. cigarette
As in "Strewth, I need to cut back on the ciggies."


On a side note, why do we ask to borrow cigarettes and tissues and things like that? If you "borrow" a tissue from me, there's no way in hell I'm letting you return it.


*Strewth is an Aussie exclamation that I believe the whitefellas imported from Britain. It comes from a much older oath, God's truth! Similarly, Zounds! comes from God's wounds!

Soda Fountain of Knowledge (Language Edition): Snuggling & Cuddling

In preparation for my next post, I need my non-Australian readers to be aware that in Australia, snuggling and cuddling are quite innocent and do not have any sexual connotation*. I make mention of this because in the past I have made a couple of (male) Americans confused and defensive by suggesting that one give the other a cuddle.

You might snuggle up on the couch with a loved one, watching Survivor. All you're doing is lying there nice and close for comfort. No funny business is going on.

I think a cuddle is pretty much the same as a hug except longer and more personal. You would probably only cuddle someone you know very well.

Do my Aussie readers have anything to add to these definitions?


*Unless you are saying it in a meaningful voice with much raising of eyebrows. Context is everything.

Soda Fountain of Knowledge (Language Edition): Chatting Up

Most of my Aussie vocabulary blog posts are for amusement purposes only, but this one is practically a PSA. I was confused and a little shocked when a friend recently told me that a friend of the girl he's seeing chatted him up, until we established that we were at cultural cross-purposes...


To chat someone up:

N. Amer. verb
To make conversation with someone. Basically the same as chatting to someone, or making small talk.

Aust. verb
To make conversation with someone with the end goal of making a romantic or sexual connection. Synonymous with the N. American to hit on someone.

Curmudgeon Status: Confirmed

I know it's just going to confirm me as a cranky elderly person before my time, but I have to show you the error of your ways, o misusers of the English language*.

Here are some phrases I have seen being wantonly misused all over the Internet or on television, along with some hastily cobbled together explanations to help you remember the correct phrase.

toe the line
NOT tow the line
The idea is that your toes are exactly on the line, meaning that you are behaving exactly as you are supposed to.

another think coming
NOT another thing coming
Because you need to think again, dumbass. You know what you did.

I couldn't care less
NOT I could care less
You're trying to let someone know that your level of caring is as low as it can possibly be. It is not possible for you to care any less. If you say you could care less, well then it's the exact opposite of the point you're trying to make!

in the throes
NOT in the throws
Like most misused phrases, this doesn't even make sense the wrong way. Merriam Webster defines throes as a hard or painful struggle. Whereas throws are, like, cushions or blankets or something.



*And misusers IS a word, because I just made it up. So there.

Soda Fountain of Knowledge (Language Edition): Shirty

shirty: (idiom) Aust.

Unreasonably bad-tempered or annoyed. As in "Someone's shirty today!" or "Don't get shirty with me!"

The best use of the word shirty was a recurring segment called Shirty the Slighty Aggressive Bear, on a late 90's Australian sketch comedy show called The Late Show (clip here. I have no desire to learn how to embed YouTubes).

Soda Fountain of Knowledge (Language Edition): Torch

torch: (n.) Aust.

A hand-held electric light, usually battery operated.

Commonly referred to in North America as a flashlight.

Notes: To North Americans, a torch is a flaming stick usually used by members of an angry mob on the lookout for Frankenstein's monster. Thusly, consternation is caused among Americans when an Australian casually mentions that they need a torch to look for something. Right, husband?

Soda Fountain of Knowledge (Language Edition): Doona

doona: (n.) Aust.

A padded bed covering to go on top of bedsheets. Also called a quilt, but is thicker than the traditionally handmade type of quilt.

Commonly referred to in Britain as a duvet, and in North America as a comforter.

Wikipedia offers us this explanation for the etymology of doona (link to full entry here):
In Australia, a duvet or down quilt is often called a "Doona", which is a genericized trademark (registered to the Tontine Group) which is derived from the equivalent common Scandinavian term dyne and popularized by the retailer IKEA in the 1970s. Originally the term continental quilt was the standard name used across Australia, and some regions continue to use this term.

Soda Fountain of Knowledge (Language Edition): Ta

ta: (idiom) Aust.

Ta is an expression used in Britain & Australia meaning "thank you".

It is one of the earliest words Australian children learn. I always thought it was one of those silly words that arise from small children not being able to form words correctly, just along the lines of mama, dada etc.

However, a cursory search of the internet reveals that there are various possible explanations.

One, that it is an acronym for Thanks Awfully, or Thanks Again.

Two, (from Yahoo Answers):
The word is a result of the heavy Danish influence on the English language. The Danish word for "thanks" is "tak". In Scotland and upper England it was common to drop the "k" at the end because of the way words were pronounced during the time of old English and Middle English. Hence the slang word "Ta" which should actually be pronounced "TA-k" but over time became "Ta".
(Then I guess the British brought it to Australia with them. More useful than some of the other things they brought, like smallpox & rabbits).

I vote for the second explanation. It seems more likely to me.


I keep forgetting this one is pretty much unknown in the US, but thanks to context it doesn't cause as many furrowed brows as some of my other expressions... Also, I think I'm gonna keep teaching you guys words like this, because I actually learn things along the way too (unlike when I was in school, I enjoy learning things now. As long as there's no maths. Or "math" as you call it).

Soda Fountain of Knowledge (Language Edition): Yobbo.

yobbo: (n). Aust.

Loutish blue-collar person. Often found at pubs and sporting events. Enjoys shouting, bullying, pushing, cutting in line and demanding to be served alcohol whilst clearly intoxicated.



Note: You may have gathered this by now, but Soda & Candy grew up in Australia. She now lives in the United States of America, and enjoys talking about herself in the third person.
The name of this blog, while referring to two of Soda & Candy's favorite things, derives from the fact that American English is not her first language, and so she derives an inordinate amount of glee from referring to things by their American names. Americans, on the other hand, seem to derive an equal amount of glee from learning the Australian words for things. Soda & Candy enjoys this about Americans and encourages their enthusiasm wherever possible.