Say What?

As much as I rail against people for not using the English language correctly*, I must admit there are some sayings that just don't make any damn sense. Here are a couple:

"Have your cake and eat it too"
I know what the meaning of this phrase is, I think; it's talking about not being satisfied and always wanting more than you deserve. But if you look at what it literally says, it's completely ridiculous. I know the Vegetable Assassin will back me up on this one. I mean, what is the point of having sweet delicious cake, if not to cram it down one's gullet? What possible circumstances could exist in which the having of the cake was enough?! What are you going to do, just keep it under a glass dome, taking it out occasionally to stare lovingly at the swirly peaks of frosting until the cake is old enough for baby spiders to come bursting out? Maybe that's good enough for Miss Haversham, but not this girl, no sir! I see a cake, I eat it.

"The exception that proves the rule"
This just makes my brain hurt like Mr Gumby. I'm not even sure I can understand what someone who uses this phrase is trying to say. I mean, surely if an example exists that goes against the conventional wisdom, doesn't that mean the conventional wisdom is wrong? For example, say you meet an Australian who hates beer and loathes cricket. Okay, perhaps it's unexpected, but how in the hell do you turn around and take that as proof that Aussies usually do love beer and cricket, rather than that perhaps you might have been taken in by a popular stereotype, and it's proof of the fact that the stereotype isn't true?!

Extra Credit Question: Dear Readers, what oddities of the English language (or another language, but please explain!) do you find perplexing?


*I think using the wrong your/you're should be punishable by torture, and I have been known to shout at the television during misuse of the word literally...

Grammar Nazi: Me vs. I

I was going to be all cute and name this "Me, Myself & I", but I'm not opening the "myself" can o' worms.

Do I say "me" or "I"?

1.
Firstly, in either case always put the other people/person before yourself. This is good manners and it's also good grammar.
For example: Do not say "Me/I and Person X", say "Person X and me/I."

2.
The easiest rule is, if you take the other person/people out of the sentence it should still make sense.

For example:
"[Person X and] I went to the movies." You would never say "Me went to the movies", so you know you should not use "me"in that sentence.

"They gave candy to [Person X and] me." You would never say "They gave candy to I", so you know you should not use "I"in that sentence.

3.
It is technically correct to say "It is I", but "It is me" or "It's me" are so widely accepted nowadays as to be considered correct in all but the most formal situations.

And I'm all for the evolution of language unless it obfuscates* meaning, which I could go on and on about but this post is probably already long & boring enough.


*That was for you, mjenks. I know you love them five dollar words.

Curmudgeon Status: Confirmed

I know it's just going to confirm me as a cranky elderly person before my time, but I have to show you the error of your ways, o misusers of the English language*.

Here are some phrases I have seen being wantonly misused all over the Internet or on television, along with some hastily cobbled together explanations to help you remember the correct phrase.

toe the line
NOT tow the line
The idea is that your toes are exactly on the line, meaning that you are behaving exactly as you are supposed to.

another think coming
NOT another thing coming
Because you need to think again, dumbass. You know what you did.

I couldn't care less
NOT I could care less
You're trying to let someone know that your level of caring is as low as it can possibly be. It is not possible for you to care any less. If you say you could care less, well then it's the exact opposite of the point you're trying to make!

in the throes
NOT in the throws
Like most misused phrases, this doesn't even make sense the wrong way. Merriam Webster defines throes as a hard or painful struggle. Whereas throws are, like, cushions or blankets or something.



*And misusers IS a word, because I just made it up. So there.

i need a hook.

i'm thinking of going all e.e. cummings and writing everything in lower case.

i won't leave out punctuation (because i am a grammar nazi and i love brackets, although i guess i could switch to square ones, which i also love. but however), but it means I won't have to stretch over for that damn shift key so much (i have little fingers and it's annoying).

also, it reminds me of my beloved archy the cockroach poems (click here if you don't know who that is!) by don marquis.

i find it pleasing and unusual - and yet i still want to know your opinion on the matter! please let me know what you think in the comments.