Reader Poll: Change or stay the same?

Mr. And Candy and I have been watching The Marriage Ref. Basically, if you haven't watched it, married couples submit their arguments for dissection and resolution by the host, Tom Papa, and a variety of celebrity panelists. Whoever wins according to the host has to give up the argument and concede defeat, but all the couples get a fabulous luxury holiday just for being on the show, so don't cry too hard for the losers!

I'm sure you will think me a philistine for enjoying it but I do. It is not so hard to recognize oneself in the petty yet deeply felt arguments of other married folk, and of course the smug feeling of superiority when viewing arguments much more petty, ridiculous and or lower class than one's own is hugely enjoyable.

Anyway. One of the recent arguments was a husband who wanted his wife to change her last name to his, and she didn't want to. Part, but not all, of her reasoning was that she worked in radio and was known by her "maiden" name professionally.

The panelists pretty much agreed that it was up to her, except then it kind of veered off into "She should be allowed to keep it professionally but she should change it in her personal life like for checking accounts and so on" - this is exactly what the two female panelists, Kelly Ripa (Consuelos) and Demi Moore (Kutcher) had done, after all. To be honest with you I was sort of shocked that these other arguments were even brought up, especially by women, because to me this is a case where "I don't want to" is an end-of-story type deal.

I just kind of assumed in today's modern world that since we no longer view women as property changing hands from father to husband that it had become a matter of choice solely up to the woman (seeing as her life is the only one affected). I changed mine, because I wanted to. I probably wouldn't have if his last name had been worse than mine, like, Maggott or Fartstein or something.

What do the wise citizens of the blogosphere have to say on this matter?

Over to You: And now for something completely different...

What do you guys think of t-shirts with stuff written on them?

I do love witticisms on t-shirts, but being petite of frame means I have to choose very short ones, and being a girl means I have to think carefully about whether I really want to give anyone an excuse to stare at my chest - "What? I was just reading your t-shirt!"

But I like them on other people, as long as they're funny and/or witty and not some lame garbage like "Female Body Inspector" or "I'm with Stupid". One of my all-time favorites is "I found Jesus... He was behind the couch the whole time."

What's your favorite t-shirt witticism? Or alternatively, what's one you WISH was on a t-shirt?

Over to You, Ladies: A Question of Etiquette

Dear Ladies of the blogosphere,

When a gentleman holds a door for you to allow you to go through ahead of him, do you

a) hold in the fart until you are far enough away to let out the daintiest rose-scented pfft and still keep your admittedly shaky reputation as a lady?

or

b) let one rip in his face in an implied threat to the patriarchy as you strut past?

Over to You: Mad Blogs VII

If you don't already know, Mad Blogs™ is the blog version of Mad Libs:

1. I give you a list of blanks to fill
2. You respond with your filler words in the comments
3. I pick my favorite set of answers after an arbitrarily assigned a predetermined length of time. For this one, Wednesday Dec 23, so I can post a winner Christmas Eve (I may make it later if I don't get enough entries by then).
   
4. I post the completed Mad Blog™ and a Sweet Blogger award for the winner/s.
   

Here is the list of blanks:
City
adjective ending in -est
adverb ending in -ly
adjective
item of clothing
plural noun
item of clothing
number
length of time
body part
animal
animal, plural

Over To You: Mad Blogs VI

Yay Mad Blogs! Here's your chance, everyone who missed out on the last one!

If you don't already know, Mad Blogs™ is the blog version of Mad Libs:

1. I give you a list of blanks to fill
2. You respond with your filler words in the comments
3. I pick my favorite set of answers after an arbitrarily assigned a predetermined length of time. For this one, Saturday Nov 28. Or later if I don't get enough entries by then!
   
4. I post the completed Mad Blog™ and a Sweet Blogger award for the winner/s.
   

Here is the list of blanks:
woman's name
fruit
male celebrity
geographical location
profession
famous actor
celebrity
food
adjective
famous musician (living)
number
animal

Mad Blogs V: Mad Interiors.

Everyone did awesome, but there can only be one winner. Because I said so and it's my competition. Don't look so sad, your fabulous word choices made me laugh too!

Just not as much as... miss.chief! the winner!
Chiefy, you are a Sweet Blogger.
Honorable mentions go to 180|360, who ran a very close second, and Parpnelope Parpfield-Parpington (or Steam Me Up, Kid as she is more commonly known) for making me keep giggling and saying "Armoire!" to myself.

Here's the winning entry - (and the blank version is below it, for those of you who want to see how well the other word choices work - just pop-up the comments from last post and follow along replacing words as you go).
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Welcome to Mad Interiors, the fluffiest interior decorating show on the moon. I'm your host, Billy Magenta.

Well, I'm sure you're all aware of the recent craze for 1960's style in interiors. Who could forget the Shamwow guy declaring in the school newspaper "I'd sell my first-born child for that boring style in my mom's basement!"

But that's so 3 years ago! Now everyone is painting their walls brown and upholstering their furniture with anaconda pelts. Coming up in 9 minutes, we show you how to make an authentic Japanese chesterfield using only a spork, three skeletons and a hollowed out spaghetti squash.



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Welcome to Mad Interiors, the adjective ending in -est interior decorating show in location. I'm your host, man's first name | color.

Well, I'm sure you're all aware of the recent craze for historical era style in interiors. Who could forget celebrity declaring in publication "I'd sell my first-born child for that adjective style in my type of dwelling!"

But that's so period of time ago! Now everyone is painting their walls color and upholstering their furniture with animal pelts. Coming up, we show you how to make an authentic ethnicity | piece of furniture using only a noun, three plural noun and a hollowed out vegetable.

Over To You: Mad Blogs V

I haven't done a Mad Blog for a while but people seemed to like them and let's face it, I owe you a decent post after all the dodgy poetry and other half-assed nonsense I've been posting lately*! Here we go!
________________

If you don't already know (like if you've been reading my blog for less than six months which is the last time I did one), Mad Blogs™ is the blog version of Mad Libs:

1. I give you a list of blanks to fill
2. You respond with your filler words in the comments
3. I pick my favorite set of answers after an arbitrarily assigned a predetermined length of time. I guess like four days from time of posting oughta do it.
   
4. I post the completed Mad Blog™ and a Sweet Blogger award for the winner/s.
   

Here is the list of blanks:
adjective ending in -est
location
man's first name
color
historical era
celebrity
publication
adjective
type of dwelling
period of time
color
animal
number
ethnicity
piece of furniture
noun
plural noun
vegetable


*With the notable exception of Miss Vegetable Assassin's darling honky cracker, of course.

Over To You: Blog as Cultural Exchange Depot.

It seems like everyone really likes when I write about Aussie stuff, but I need some suggestions from you guys.

Aussie readers
What Aussie things would you like me to introduce to our international friends?
A quick example of the kind of thing: The heaven that is Tim Tams.

Non-Aussie readers
Do you have any questions you would like to ask an Aussie, or any Aussie things you would like to know about?
A quick example: No, Aussie children do not ride kangaroos to school.

Leave suggestions in the comments.

Over to You: "It was the best of times, it was the BLURST of times?!"

I was going to write a mini-thesis on the differences between Americans and Australians based on viewings of each country's Projecct Runway, but I haven't time*, so I want you guys to tell me:

1. Which country you live in
2. The first great thing about that country that springs to mind
3. The first bad thing about that country that springs to mind

I've been feeling a little homesick and I think it might help.


*Although I may still write this someday soon.

Over to You: The true life story of...

What movie genre do you think the story of your life would be best suited to (and why)?

A romantic tearjerker? A Michael Bay blockbuster? Drama, thriller, black comedy?

Would it even be a movie? What about a TV show, or some other form like a comic book, an opera, or a photo essay?

I think my life story would be eerily similar to I Love Lucy: the wacky, attention-addicted wife with no logical thought processes who always gets into scrapes but somehow manages to be lovable... and stylishly dressed.

Fun Size Over to You: Avataristic

Happy Fourth of July to all my American readers!
And Happy Saturday to everyone else : )

I guess not many of you will be reading today so here's a quick thought for the weekend:

If I were a cartoon character, I would be either Hello Kitty or one of those schoolgirls from Neon Genesis Evangelion.

I mean, you can't go wrong with cute Japanese schoolgirls who can control massive violent robots, amiright? I pretty much already have the almost-crying giant wobbly eyes thing down, and I'm pretty sure dark pink ovals appear on my cheeks when I'm embarrassed.

If you were a cartoon character, who would you be and why?

Over To You: Eat Your Feelings?

Whenever I eat Fritos (original flavor, curl-shaped, not scoops), it makes me happy because it reminds me of this time Husband and I had a lovely picnic lunch on a deserted Maryland beach.

Whenever I drink Dr Pepper, it makes me nostalgic because it reminds me of my uncle keeping a cooler-full for me during my childhood visits to the US.

What about you guys? Replace the bold text with your own food/drink emotional memories in the comments.

An Original Drafts blog? Whaddya reckon?

That paragon of blog excellence, The Imaginary Reviewer, was kind enough to suggest that my recently created Original Drafts feature should get the Chachi & Joanie treatment - its own spin-off blog.

I'm thinking about it, but I wanted to ask you guys, my reading public, some questions first*:

1. Would you read such a blog?
2. Would you be willing to submit song ideas (via email, most likely) in exchange for a pimpin' credit link on the post should your idea be used?
3. Would it be inexcusably lame if the same paper / handwriting were eventually reused for different songs (hey, there are only so many free paper textures and handwriting fonts out there!)

*Lurkers included!!! Please help a sister out.

UPDATED: Blog malaise is the new swine flu (with a side of Over to You).

You guys, I think I have a touch of the blog burnout that's been going around.

I still want to write, and I still like reading other people's blogs... I'm just feeling like I'm off my game a bit. I can't think of any witty comments even when I really like a post (or even particularly witty replies to y'alls comments here), and I've no ideas stored up for my own future posts...

I usually have two or three drafts up my sleeve, and I've nothing!

Help me, blogosphere! What would you like to read on this delicious sugary pink blog of mine?

Should I do more odes?

More Soda Fountain of Knowledge (language or culture)?

More Blogisferia Chronicles? Is there anyone whose blog is in my reader list brave enough to put their hand up to be in the next Chronicle?

Or is there something I haven't written about that you want me to? Current events perhaps, or nano-celebrities like Jon & Kate Plus Eight Minus Jon?

Comments please!!! Oh yeah and the best (i.e. most helpful) comment wins a Sweet Blogger Award!!


That's right. I'm not above bribery.

UPDATE: also, crap. I was adding the well-fed graphic designer to my blog list and accidentally removed someone else, and I've no idea who it was. Can anyone tell who's missing over there?

Fun Size Over to You: Calling Miss Manners.

When two gentlemen are introduced, they shake hands.

When a lady and a gentleman are introduced, they might shake hands or they might skip it.

But when two ladies are introduced, is it weird to shake hands? I thought not, but I've been given a few withering-wet-fish-style hands by other ladies* recently and I'm beginning to wonder if it's because we're not supposed to shake hands.

What say you, blogosphere?



*Also, Southern women all have freakishly small soft hands. What's up with that?

Mad Blogs IV: Mad Weapon.

Once again you guys all did amazing.

In fact, this time I had to pick TWO winners!

Words...words...words..., a blogger whose cromulence embiggens us all

And...

Currently Untitled, for being super-Aussie and using ace Aussie words!

You are Sweet Bloggers!!!*

Here's your COMBINED winning entry (and the blank version is below it, for those of you who want to see how awesome the other word choices were).

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The plot of the latest Hollywood blockbuster, brought to you by Mad Blogs:

Set on the mean streets of Intercourse, PA, a buddy movie like you've never embiggened.

A cromulent redneck detective, played by Gary Busey is partnered with a bogan detective, played by Nicole Kidman. Detective Rurtaugh has just turned 42 and only has a light year before retirement. Rurtaugh's new partner, Miggs, just lost his wife in a tragic hansom cab accident and is cross.

Together they uncover a huge Wii smuggling operation and end up becoming tragic friends.

Best quote from the movie: "I'm too futile for this double-wide!



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The plot of the latest Hollywood blockbuster, brought to you by Mad Blogs:

Set on the mean streets of city, a buddy movie like you've never past tense verb.

A adjective ethnicity detective, played by famous actor - male or female is partnered with a adjective detective, played by a different famous actor - male or female. Detective Rurtaugh has just turned number and only has length of time before retirement. Rurtaugh's new partner, Miggs, just lost his wife in a tragic mode of transport accident and is emotional state.

Together they uncover a huge noun smuggling operation and end up becoming adjective friends.

Best quote from the movie: "I'm too adjective for this noun!
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*And I haven't forgotten about the super special extra secret part of your reward either; all will be revealed in my next post.

Over To You: Mad Blogs IV

This one rules, I can feel it.

If you don't already know, Mad Blogs™ is the blog version of Mad Libs:

1. I give you a list of blanks to fill
2. You respond with your filler words in the comments
3. I pick my favorite answers after an arbitrarily assigned a predetermined length of time. I guess like four days from time of posting oughta do it. I think I might also just pick the best filler word for each blank, but please post a complete list
   
4. I post the completed Mad Blog™ and a Sweet Blogger award for the winner/s - method of determining winner is at this stage to be determined. It might be whoever posts the most kick-ass set or individual word, or whoever gets the most words used.
   

Here is the list of blanks:
city
past tense verb
adjective
ethnicity
famous actor - male or female
adjective
a different famous actor - male or female
number
length of time
mode of transport
emotional state
noun
adjective
adjective
noun

Over To You: Opinions Please!

You guys, has Mad Blogs jumped the shark?

Is there any way I can improve on the game? Any way that I can make it more fun for everyone playing?

I only have one more ready to go. I feel like participation dropped off pretty sharply after the first one, but I really like doing them so I want to make sure that they're as fun as possible for you guys to make you want to keep doing them!

Suggestions/"you're crazy, Mad Blogs is the funnest game ever!" in the comments please!

Mad Blogs II: The Bloggening*

Okay seriously, it was SO HARD to pick a winner this time!!!

I really want to give the award to pretty much all of you, but then you might "rest on pretty" as Tyra says, and not bother to enter the next one! And there WILL be a next one.

So *drrrrrrum rrrrrrroll*... the winner is... The Vegetable Assassin!!!

Please enjoy your custom made Sweet Blogger award, mate - it was a VERY close race.


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And here is the winning entry:

S'up, Sugartits! my little tentacles!

A creamy thing happened to me a nanosecond ago...

I was expertly driving my 131 kids home from midget hockey practice at 4:16 a.m. when I saw something by the side of the road and stopped to look.

It was a warthog! At first i thought it was dead, because it smelled like rotten begonias, but then I saw its taint twitch. I felt stimulated, and picked it up to put it in the car & take it home with us.

"Christ on a pogo stick!" shouted my youngest son.
"That thing is hefty. Can we keep him?"

So we named him Fluffy.

________________

But wait, there's more!!!
My Mum was also one of my top choices, but she doesn't have a blog and therefore cannot display the award. So instead I'm going to post her entry here too.

Top o' the mornin' my little sheep!

A greasy thing happened to me eons ago...

I was witheringly driving my 7 kids home from hurling practice at morning tea time when I saw something by the side of the road and stopped to look.

It was a caracal lynx! At first i thought it was dead, because it smelled like rotten cockroaches, but then I saw its tongue twitch. I felt dismay, and picked it up to put it in the car & take it home with us.

"Gosh all crimenentlies!**" shouted my youngest son.
"That thing is sweet. Can we keep him?"

So we named him Fluffy.


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*The title of this post has nothing to do with the subject matter of the Mad Blog™ by the way, it's just patented hilarity to say Something II: The Somethinging. And yes I am a retard and had this footnote on the previous post.
Shut up, that's why.

**Uh, what?

Over To You: Mad Blogs

UPDATE: This contest is now closed, but please feel free to create/post your own entries anyway!!!

I need your help, readers!

I had a great idea for a post but it's only going to work if you guys pitch in.

So... remember Mad Libs? They're basically short stories with words missing, and you get someone who doesn't know what the story is to give you words to fill in the blanks.

I want to do the bloggy version, so I'm going to give you a list of the blanks to fill - you respond in the comments.

I'll pick the only my favorite response and then post the completed Mad Blog.

Also, the winner gets an award if I can figure out how to post one of the damn things!

So please give it a go!

Here are the blanks:
[length of time]
[adjective]
[type of dwelling]
[mode of transport]
[name of city]
[number]
[adjective]
[weather condition]
[body part]
[adverb ending in -ly]
[type of business]
[adjective]
[number]
[animal]
[adverb ending in -ly]
[TV show]
[number]
[adjective]

(Holy crap, that turned out to be a lot longer list than I thought!!! )