Outrageous.

I got an award!!!
Thanks Cora (or should I say Mrs. Scope)!!! You are a lovely lady and I am so glad you fell headlong into love and that you share about it on your blog!



Of course nothing in this world comes for free so here are the strings that were attached to this one:

•Express gratitude to the blogger who bestowed the award unto you. Done.
•Display the picture on your blog proudly. Done.
•Be nice and provide a link to the person who gave it to you. See above.
•Tell up to 6 outrageous lies about yourself, and at least 1 outrageous truth, or switch it around and tell 6 outrageous truths and 1 outrageous lie. See below.
•Nominate 7 creative writers who might be into doing this. You're not the boss of me! Plus, I like having blogger friends, and most of them have either already been tagged for this or hate doing it, so nuts to that.
•Post links to the seven blogs you nominate and let the owners of those blogs know. See above.


Oh God, where to begin? Here is something (non-outrageous) that is true about me: I lead a rather unexciting life. Here is another fact about me: although I am a dreadful comment whore, I don't always give my fellow bloggers as much comment love as I should. So in light of these facts, I have decided to make my list all about other bloggers.
So here are outrageous truths about some of* my fellow bloggers. Can you guess who they are? If not, click on the links and you will be magically transported to their blogs!

1. I met my husband when he left a comment on my blog (okay, this one was kind of a gimme).

2. I was once given a hat by Samuel L Jackson.

3. We are a group of girls with our religion in common. We talk about it extensively on our blog... and it's funny and charming and interesting!

4. I used my grandmother as an antenna. And that's not the most outrageous thing about me, just the cleanest.

5. I'm an accomplished artist well versed in classical art and history... from the same state as George W. Bush.


Gah! I only came up with five! Oh well, don't feel bad if you didn't make this list, just let me know your reason why you should be on it in the comments! (Or do a post about it, but don't forget to let me know about it!) I may even update my post if I think you're outrageous enough.



*"Some of", in this case, being the ones about whom I could recall something that I legitimately regard as outrageous.

Sweet, sweet candy.

I have been sadly lacking in sugar-related content on this blog lately, so here's a two-fer.

1. A recipe: Super Easy Peanut Butter Cups
(little chocolate cups filled with peanut butter, for those of you unaware of the glory)

Ingredients:
1 tub chocolate frosting
1 jar peanut butter, crunchy

Using a teaspoon, remove 1/2 teaspoon of chocolate frosting from the tub.
Using the same teaspoon now containing the frosting, remove 1/2 teaspoon of peanut butter from the jar.
Serve directly into mouth. Swirl if desired.
Repeat until suffused with the joy and wonder of life / insulin shock sets in.

2. Another blog about candy
(much more about candy than mine is, to be honest)

Richard, The Bewildered Brit, is a British expat living in the USA. He writes about the history of various candies, both famous and obscure, and includes reviews for your gustatory information! It went on my reading list because I like to hear other non-US born viewpoints on this place, because I like learning about things (in short bursts appropriate to my attention span), and (duh) because it's about one of my favorite things (candy, duh). I also imagine the blog's voice as a posh, Jeeves-like accent, which always makes things more enjoyable.

So in summation, you should read The Bewildered Brit, but only if it doesn't interfere with paying attention to me!

Clearly, no one could be a more appropriate candidate for the Sweet Blogger Award.

Forgive me Blogger, for I have sinned. Also, ribbit.

I made a jokey comment on another blog that was supposed to be funny but came off as mean. It hurt that blogger's feelings and I feel effing terrible about it, and I'm so sorry.

So in a desperately transparent effort to worm my way back into his good graces, I am breaking my promise to myself to stop pimping out other bloggers (because they're all better than me and all my readers bugger off to their blogs instead of reading mine) to bring you someone who is indeed one of the cool, beautiful people.

Allow me to introduce you to Trinity.

Trinity is awesome because:

1. Trinity is his real name. It's just a freaking cool name. Like a badass video game character or something.

2. The This Book Will Change Your Life Experiment - as he puts it, said Book is "a 365 page instruction manual for adding crazy shit into your life". He performs daily tasks as instructed by the Book and blogs his experiences for your reading pleasure. I don't think I've ever seen anyone do anything like this on a blog, and I really like it! Luckily he writes in an engaging and entertaining way, because even the best story needs to be told right.

There's no way in hell I'd ever do something that requires so much effort and commitment, but this way I can do it vicariously. Yay! It was an easy instant add to my ginormo reading list.

3. He is the soul-twin of my dear friend, ex-blogger The Girl with the Pink Teacup. Anyone Miss Teacup likes is instantly all right in my book, so in a way, Trinity had pre-approval before I even "met" him. She likes him so much she sent him Freddo Frogs, which brings me to the next part...

4. Trinity also goes by the blogger name of Newt the Wonder Frog. Now, a Wonder Frog sounds pretty awesome in itself, but this is because frogs are awesome already and here's why:

• Frogs are the first indicators of an ecosystem going tits-up. If the frogs are gone, everything else is headed for doom.

• Tree frogs are awesome. They look like plastic or rubber but they are real and they have adorable roundy toe pads. Also they get in the shower with you at your friend's house in the Australian bush. Not because they're pervy, but because it's delightfully humid in there, just like a rainforest.

• Poison Dart frogs are awesome. Toxic secretions from their skin are used by the indigenous peoples of Central & South America to poison the tips of blow-darts (wiki here), and also, they come in a delightful Crayola range of colors.

• Frog Princes are a staple of popular culture. No other animal has as much chance of turning into a prince as the frog. It's just a fact. Although there is little to no data on whether His Highness continues to eat flies after gaining human form.

• Freddo Frogs, as mentioned before, are Australian chocolate frogs available either in solid chocolate or filled with various flavors of delicious goo. And y'all know I like my candy.


So there you have it, now go visit Trinity and tell him I sent you and said he was cool, beautiful and awesome! and then please come back and read me.

Calling all girls!

Ladies:

Do you secretly (or not-so-secretly) like to read books that have hot pink covers with curly writing and impossibly slender cartoon chicks on the front?

Does this somewhat less than intellectual literary proclivity embarrass and delight you at the same time?

Do you have a hectic schedule or a short attention span that only allows you to read a chapter at a time?

Do you like blogs with awesome names?

If you answered "hells yes!" to all of the above, Ninja Sex Pants (check out that URL name, best evs) is the blog for you. Moonkee writes a Cheesy Bookstore Romance (her words, not mine!!!) serialized in blog form. She explains it like this:

In 1996 I started writing a cheesy romance. I was working at Waldenbooks then and saw daily what utter crap was selling like hotcakes. (See "Throwing 'The Horse Whisperer' across the room upon completion, circa 1996.")
This is the result, as far as I got with it.

Now remember, this was written to make fun of other books. The initial idea was to take something exceedingly dull and cheese it up. I believe that when it's done right, this could be termed something along the lines of "farce" or "satire." But fear not! I promise that you will find no such thing in the reality that is CBR. You'll want to start with the first posting, April 25. And by "want" we all know I mean "will do it to make her feel better and staunch the flow of approval-seeking e-mail before it starts."

Unfortunately, Moonkee has allowed real life to interfere with posting the next chapter. I know, right?! So I'm counting on y'all to get over there (in the interest of doing my bidding, go to that link before you go to Chapter 1) and beg shout at coerce encourage her to continue writing!!!

I need my next chapter, people!

Moonkee, I'm not above bribery. Please accept this shiny new Sweet Blogger (Redux) Award* as prepayment for my next chapter!!!



*I don't know who all I've given this award to but if you have the old one, please feel free to take this one as an upgrade!
On a side note, I'm kind of annoyed because the colors are showing up much more blue/purple and wishy-washy when I upload it than they are in the original file, but I still think it's better than the old one. Does anyone know why the color looks perfect when I Save For Web in Photoshop and then changes when I upload it to Blogger?

I made something pretty! (updated)

So remember when I said I would create an award for G Henry's word verification game?

Well he announced the winner (international man of mystery Cooper Green) and posted my fishy little award for all to see!

UPDATE:
Not only that, but Cooper very kindly declared that he nominated me for my own Straight Pimpin' Award since it was through my pimping efforts that he found G Henry's blog, Goldfish Broth, in the first place.

I was stupidly confused at first and thought he meant he was nominating me for the award I had designed for G Henry.

It's a good thing I'm pretty.

UPDATE UPDATE:
Somehow in the confusion I managed to coerce poor Cooper into creating a delicious response to my Big Fish Award, both are now happily ensconced in my sidebar!

Something fishy and fun

You guys, you have to go to Goldfish Broth right now! and play the word verification definition game.

I know it's been done before, but it's always so much fun!!! Plus, read his own post of w/v definitions before you go and you will realize just how high a standard you will be held to in G. Henry's arena. Anyone who uses the word paucity correctly in a blog post deserves as many readers as can be shepherded his way.

...Again with the pimping?

Yes. Because even though there's a high likelihood that pointing my readers towards blogs which are infinitely funnier than mine will only result in an even sadder comment count for me, I must share this with you.

That's how much of a saint I am.

UPDATE: It's official, I'm going to be designing an award for the winner!!!

Entry into Heaven = guaranteed *dusts hands off smugly*.