Terrifying.

A charming denizen of our neighborhood - about three minutes after turning up at my bus stop - informed me that he was an ex-convict of some long years, among other slightly terrifying tidbits of information.

I am now considering purchasing some pepper spray. Husband helpfully suggested I get one of those jokey water-squirting flowers, like clowns have, except with pepper spray instead of water.

I'm not sure about that, but I know that being the diva princess that I am, such an item would have to be co-ordinated with my wardrobe, and preferably bedazzled.

More Macro Goodness!

I cannot take credit for these ones! They are all the work of The Husband, who overcame an intense dislike of spiders to get close to this guy.

^ a golden silk orbweaver. I like her fuzzy legwarmers, and her skull-like head. and the fact that her bite is not poisonous to humans. I do wish she'd eat more mosquitoes though.


^ a green anole lizard sunning himself on a tree branch. they are slightly bigger than the skinks I'm used to from home. I think they're dear little things. a common sight in our backyard on sunny days - luckily the dogs haven't caught any yet. I wish they'd catch more mosquitoes too.

"Blech! Euwwww... Mountain Dew?! I'll take a crab juice."*

So we watched the season finale of Survivor the other night and as per ushe they revealed at the end of the reunion show where the next season will be located.

***Spoiler Alert****





Samoa.

Oh my gosh how exciting, a South Pacific island loca... no, wait, they've done that about seven hundred times already. Not to say I won't be watching it anyway, but still.

Husband said he wished they'd totally switch it up and go somewhere completely different, which is when we came up with:

Survivor: Manhattan
The survivors have to spend 39 days in the dank, fetid subway tunnels of Manhattan Island.
They must build their own shelters out of indigenous materials like cardboard boxes and discarded Wall St. Journals, and avoid native hazards such as sewer alligators and that really smelly steam that comes out of manhole covers.

Challenges include:
Asking a New Yorker for Directions
Interpreting a New Yorker Cartoon
Building a Trashcan Fire
Eating a Sewer Rat Before It Eats You
Not Being Stabbed By a Hobo





*A million points to whoever can correctly identify this Simpsons quote, and a bonus million if you can figure out how the heck it relates to this post.

On My Planet...

So the husband and I were having one of our conversations which starts with both of us thinking we know what's going on and ends with him shaking his head and looking at me like I am crazy. In other words, he would say, every conversation we have.

Then this happened:

Husband: "I don't want to live on your planet."

Soda & Candy: "I know, because it's pink! ... Also, its Saturn-like rings are made of glitter and pink sugar."

Husband: "I call it [a pun name for it involving my real name]!"

Soda & Candy: "Oh, I am so blogging this, but we can't tell that name."

Husband: "Call it Planet Lollipop."

Soda & Candy: "That's an even better name! Oh, and the planet itself would be made of Chupa Chup candy!"

I look forward to returning home to Planet Lollipop one day.

I imagine there are puppies and kittens that never become dogs and cats, naturally rainbow-hued miniature horses gamboling about perpetually green fields, aquifers of Dr. Pepper, and endless personally tailored shopping opportunities.

Readers, what would your home planet be like?