Showing posts with label fantasy world. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fantasy world. Show all posts

Monday, September 21, 2009

The Blogisferia Chronicles: Chapter the Seventh

Please note - all Chronicles are stand-alones, you don't have to read any previous chapters to know what's going on.

Indulge me on this one, it's long but heartfelt.


Previous Chapters:

Chapter the First
Chapter the Second

Chapter the Third
Chapter the Fourth
Chapter the Fifth
Chapter the Sixth
*************************************

The Candysoda Tavern was cool & dark, even in the middle of the day. Princess Soda was sitting at the bar, grimly chugging drink after pink frothy drink and demanding more with a small fist slammed into the scarred wood of the bar-top. She glared belligerently around her and muttered foul imprecations under her breath.

A few stools down, Tennyson ee Hemingway the philosopher, in a battered leather hat with a band made of crocodile teeth, was nibbling thoughtfully on a huge slice of pavlova. He turned to the man next to him and said "Strewth Mo, what is the Princess doing in here? I didn't think she was a drinker!"

Mo was a dapper English fellow with a small sticky person in an orange & pink striped onesie clambering about his person. He replied "I only come in on Mo-days, but I heard she's been in here constantly the past few days and has to be carried out at closing time... The odd thing is, those are Shirley Temples she's shotgunning." Having imparted this wisdom, Mo sagely sipped his pint and returned to his favorite task of observing the colorful parade of people passing by the tavern.

Suddenly, down at the end of the bar, there was a puff of smoke and a loud bang. Mjenks the alchemist sat behind the now charred and smoking bar, a maniacal grin on his face. As the smoke cleared, he turned to the curvaceous redhead at his side and murmured "Vix a te videor posse tenere manus!"

Everyone politely averted their eyes from what occurred next.

As a lucky distraction, a commotion occurred that very minute. Outside the tavern, an oddly charming three-wheeled vehicle staggered to a halt in a sputtering cloud of fumes. An elderly gentleman with an impressive beard alighted and shuffled in to sit at the bar.

"You!" shouted the Princess, looking daggers at the old man. "She is lost to us because of you, Simon! Princess Teacup is gone because of your carelessness!" Princess Soda jumped down from the bar-stool, clenching her fists and stamping a tiny foot against the dark hardwood floor.

"I know," sobbed Simon. "And she was the most profitable, er, I mean sweetest, of my myriad illegitimate daughters as well."

Upon seeing his genuine grief, Princess Soda's rage evaporated. She and Simon embraced, and toasted to their dear lost Princess Teacup with huge foamy steins of Byron Bay lemonade.

And to make up for her ill humor, the Princess ordered a giant platter of Tim Tams for everyone in the bar.

*************************************
Tennyson, mo.stoneskin, INdefatigable mjenks & Simon: please accept this fine shield as proof of your Chroniclage.
Teacup my dear, I know you've quit blogging, but please continue to drop in here whenever you want.


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

I'd write more posts but...

...I'm sitting in a quaint little café in Paris, eating a fresh baguette with thick slices of creamy, decadent brie, admiring my new Christian Louboutin stilettos and Hermès silk scarf...

...I'm gliding along the canals of Venice in a gondola laden with Italian shoes and beautiful Murano glass, daintily nibbling on delicious lemon, blood-orange and pannacotta gelato...

...I'm in Hong Kong being measured for a tailor-made hot pink cheongsam, drinking jasmine tea and eating fluffy white barbecue pork buns, giggling at the antics of my new pet baby panda...

...I'm on a Tahitian beach, lying on an enormous towel under the shade of a coconut palm, being lulled to sleep by the waves lapping the shore and the soothing scent of tropical flowers on the breeze while my monkey butler fetches me freshly squeezed pineapple and orange juice...


...I'm at home sick, achey, nauseous and sorely lacking in blogly inspiration (thanks to Gwen for giving me this idea!)

How about you guys?

Friday, May 8, 2009

News from Candysoda Castle...

Having been accused of completely hallucinating the first chapter of The Blogisferia Chronicles, I've made an adjustment: from now on, references to posts by the featured bloggers have been linked where possible. I hope this helps you to understand how much of a genius I am.

In addition, I have also designed the freaking awesome Candysoda coat of arms, which ought to be proudly displayed by those featured in The Blogisferia Chronicles.

Wordsx3 and Me, Amplified, please take yours now!




Everyone else who is in my sidebar can expect to be featured one day, (unless you explicitly state to me in the comments of this post that you do not wish to be involved, party-pooper).

Sunday, March 8, 2009

On My Planet...

So the husband and I were having one of our conversations which starts with both of us thinking we know what's going on and ends with him shaking his head and looking at me like I am crazy. In other words, he would say, every conversation we have.

Then this happened:

Husband: "I don't want to live on your planet."

Soda & Candy: "I know, because it's pink! ... Also, its Saturn-like rings are made of glitter and pink sugar."

Husband:
"I call it [a pun name for it involving my real name]!"

Soda & Candy: "Oh, I am so blogging this, but we can't tell that name."

Husband: "Call it Planet Lollipop."

Soda & Candy: "That's an even better name! Oh, and the planet itself would be made of Chupa Chup candy!"

I look forward to returning home to Planet Lollipop one day.

I imagine there are puppies and kittens that never become dogs and cats, naturally rainbow-hued miniature horses gamboling about perpetually green fields, aquifers of Dr. Pepper, and endless personally tailored shopping opportunities.

Readers, what would your home planet be like?