Eff you, Nabisco.

Fig Newtons are a rectangular cookie (or biscuit for non-American readers) made by Nabisco. They recently redesigned the packaging for Fig Newtons. In the old plastic wrap packet, you simply opened one end and out came the Newtons. The new packet is made of some kind of thin foil and is resealable.

This is great for freshness, partially because of the foil, but mainly because you cannot get the damn cookies out of the packet, because the resealable lip covers a good portion of one side of the cookies (see fig. 1).

To make matters worse, the Fig Newtons are packed in like sardines, so you can't grip around the cookie to pull it out, and they also have a tendency to crumble, so your only option is to destroy the corners on a few until you have created enough space around one to pull it out.

Eff you, Nabisco.

*****
In other news, I have been awarded the Slippers of Glory by the delightful sas. She is one of many saucy redheads to be found in the blogosphere, but she is also a Kiwi living in London; it is quite lovely to read of another Antipodean expat's exploits!

Thanks, sas!

Curmudgeon Status: Confirmed

I know it's just going to confirm me as a cranky elderly person before my time, but I have to show you the error of your ways, o misusers of the English language*.

Here are some phrases I have seen being wantonly misused all over the Internet or on television, along with some hastily cobbled together explanations to help you remember the correct phrase.

toe the line
NOT tow the line
The idea is that your toes are exactly on the line, meaning that you are behaving exactly as you are supposed to.

another think coming
NOT another thing coming
Because you need to think again, dumbass. You know what you did.

I couldn't care less
NOT I could care less
You're trying to let someone know that your level of caring is as low as it can possibly be. It is not possible for you to care any less. If you say you could care less, well then it's the exact opposite of the point you're trying to make!

in the throes
NOT in the throws
Like most misused phrases, this doesn't even make sense the wrong way. Merriam Webster defines throes as a hard or painful struggle. Whereas throws are, like, cushions or blankets or something.



*And misusers IS a word, because I just made it up. So there.

Can We Talk About: Geico ads

Geico had a perfectly serviceable ad campaign with that adorable Cockney lizard, and then they go & raise my hackles with this annoying, pseudo-surrealist nonsense with a sentient, googly-eyed money stack that appears to be stalking people. And it's not just one misguided ad either. They appear to have produced a whole series of this dreck.

Stick with the gecko, guys. We don't want a repeat of the caveman fiasco.