Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Curmudgeon Status: Confirmed

I know it's just going to confirm me as a cranky elderly person before my time, but I have to show you the error of your ways, o misusers of the English language*.

Here are some phrases I have seen being wantonly misused all over the Internet or on television, along with some hastily cobbled together explanations to help you remember the correct phrase.

toe the line
NOT tow the line
The idea is that your toes are exactly on the line, meaning that you are behaving exactly as you are supposed to.

another think coming
NOT another thing coming
Because you need to think again, dumbass. You know what you did.

I couldn't care less
NOT I could care less
You're trying to let someone know that your level of caring is as low as it can possibly be. It is not possible for you to care any less. If you say you could care less, well then it's the exact opposite of the point you're trying to make!

in the throes
NOT in the throws
Like most misused phrases, this doesn't even make sense the wrong way. Merriam Webster defines throes as a hard or painful struggle. Whereas throws are, like, cushions or blankets or something.



*And misusers IS a word, because I just made it up. So there.

23 comments:

Shawn said...

Hey, I learned something. I really thought it was "tow the line".

Cora said...

Oh!! I've got one: Supposably. I can NOT stand it when people say supposably. Hello? It's SUPPOSEDLY, people. C'mon!


My wv: Mulant. What is that? A mutant mullet?! Eww.

words...words...words... said...

Ah, we are kindred spirits. May I add "for all intensive purposes" to the list? It's "for all intents and purposes", people!

I could go on and on about people who confuse homophones, but I'll stop.

Diane said...

I like people who make up words. Mostly 'cause I make them up myself. And my therapist says I have to like myself before anyone else... ergo...

I also love the word 'ergo'. It's a good one, no?

MJenks said...

I actually hook the line up to a large grappling device and physically pull it back to my position, thankyouverymuch. So, yes, I think I shall continue to toe the line.

Tash said...

"Prolly" instead of "probably." Blech.

"Could of" or "would of" instead of "Could have" or "would have." Yech.

Anonymous said...

Whew. I was totally expecting a phrase I've used.

I learned something today. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

I've been chastising people for years about "I could care less" If you COULD care less why the hell DON'T YOU, fool? It doesn't make sense. It's driven me nuts for so long I can't tell you. It actually makes me grind my teeth when I hear it. I think it's just ingrained in people as a "Saying". Go outside the U.S. and you hear the correct version. I don't know how it got corrupted by Uncle Sam though.

So, you know. THANK YOU!

Anonymous said...

I'm SO glad you included the 'I couldn't/could care less' problem sentence. I DO NOT understand how people think they are highlighting their ambivalence by saying that it is possible for them to care more than they are currently caring. You said it better. High five.

Anonymous said...

I also turn green and my head explodes when people say "irregardless". I did it then just TYPING it.

Scope said...

LOL - Cora, you will kill my brother then.

And I was just glad to learn it was "Toad the Wet Sprocket" because I didn't want to imagine what someone was doing with their toe.

Anna Russell said...

Oh, I so agree! I have blogged about the couldn't care less thing twice. It drives me insane.

MJenks said...

Wait. Crap. That was supposed to be "I think I shall continue to tow the line."

Damned grammar gets in the way of a good bad pun.

BeckEye said...

"I could care less" is correct if you use it correctly. (Hey, I'm brilliant!) I often say it in a sarcastic manner, as in, "Hey asshole, go ahead and keep boring me because I haven't hit the depths of my non-caring yet."

Here's a pet peeve of mine. I HATE when people say, "All the sudden." That doesn't even make sense. And I hear it A LOT. And see it in writing. And it makes me crazy. It's "all of a sudden" for God's sake! If people aren't sure, they should just say "suddenly."

FunnyGal KAT said...

Words words words stole one of mine. Another one that drives me batty is people using "worse comes to worse" instead of the correct "worse comes to worst" (as in, something that's already bad getting as bad as it can possibly be...)

There, I feel better.

Peggy said...

Another think coming? Really? Hmph.

Phat Mama said...

I liked Another Think Coming best. LOL@Because you need to think again, dumbass.

Anonymous said...

Ok, I'm stopping by through Vegetable Assassin's site. I don't like when people "AX" me a question nor when they are not "pacific" on the details. ARGH!!

Soda and Candy said...

Wow, I take a day off and it turns out to be the most popular post yet!

Yay for Grammar Nazism!

I promise to bring you more in the future.

Scope said...

As long as you let me have "thru" instead of "through" we're all good.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

I love it when people butcher the english language with conviction! It cracks me up!!

here's one: condundrum-which of course is the pun in the answer of the riddle's conundrum.

NOT to say that I haven't violated the english language every now and again.

Cora said...

@ Scope: I apologize in advance for murdering your little brother. My bad. I hope we can still be friends. ;-)

Nej said...

Don't forget Doggy Dog World....instead of Dog Eat Dog world. That one always cracks me up!