Saturday, November 21, 2009

Eff you, Nabisco.

Fig Newtons are a rectangular cookie (or biscuit for non-American readers) made by Nabisco. They recently redesigned the packaging for Fig Newtons. In the old plastic wrap packet, you simply opened one end and out came the Newtons. The new packet is made of some kind of thin foil and is resealable.

This is great for freshness, partially because of the foil, but mainly because you cannot get the damn cookies out of the packet, because the resealable lip covers a good portion of one side of the cookies (see fig. 1).

To make matters worse, the Fig Newtons are packed in like sardines, so you can't grip around the cookie to pull it out, and they also have a tendency to crumble, so your only option is to destroy the corners on a few until you have created enough space around one to pull it out.

Eff you, Nabisco.

*****
In other news, I have been awarded the Slippers of Glory by the delightful sas. She is one of many saucy redheads to be found in the blogosphere, but she is also a Kiwi living in London; it is quite lovely to read of another Antipodean expat's exploits!

Thanks, sas!

www.sasmagicalmysterytour.blogspot.com

20 comments:

Morgan the Muse said...

I love being the first person to comment on your blog. Because when I get there, there are 0 people who know what's up, and then when I submit I can go ah yeah, I know what is up... but I guess that doesn't quite work, since you approve your comments before they are published. I could really be like the fifth or sixth person or something. But in my mind... I am number one... anway.

Uhm... right. Fig Newtons. I avoid them myself. But they are not the only biscuit (see what I did there?) that has went to that annoying packaging. Oreos are nearly impossible to get out as well. For shame.

Soda and Candy said...

Morgan - hahaha, no, you are the first to know what's up today! But I have to reply right now because otherwise it'll say "1 people know what's up" and we can't have that.
At least Oreos are round which must give you a bit of space to get them out from under that lip; Fig Newtons get their corner stuck under it.

words...words...words... said...

I don't eat Fig Newtons, because they are gross. However, I feel your pain about the packaging. The same thing happens with graham crackers. They're stacked in that paper wrapping so tightly, and they're so fragile that you can't take the first one out without breaking a few. Dicks.

Simon Butler said...

Packaging like this is deliberately designed to try to cut down the amount people eat, or at least make them expend as much energy opening the packet as they gain by eating the contents.

SkylersDad said...

I am convinced that most packaging today is created by people in some insane asylum.

Fragrant Liar said...

Maybe Fig Newtons are hard to get out of the packaging for a reason. The makers are warning you, you better really want this stuff!

Soda and Candy said...

WWW - Mmmm graham crackers. That's not so bad because then you just have to eat all the broken ones. Also: heh, "dicks".

Simon - Ooh I like that theory!!!

SkyDad - Hahaha, quite possibly. Especially packaging for children's toys that you need industrial shears to open.

Frgrant Liar - Ahhh, the old "reduce supply, increase demand" trick!

Hunter said...

Maybe Nabisco will stumble upon your blog and send you some free shit to win you back. Keep fighting the good fight!

Soda and Candy said...

Hunter - I am not above being bought. ARE YOU LISTENING, NABISCO?

Trinity said...

It appears to me from your last two posts that someone is getting addicted to making graphic representations of things.

I like the resealable Oreo package but the Fig Newton thing is just punishment because you choose to eat nasty ass Fig Newtons.

Soda and Candy said...

Trinity - : P Fig Newtons are perfectly acceptable, as long as you can get them out of the packet.

tennysoneehemingway said...

I hate when any company fucks with their packaging. Everything seems to be laser sealed now, so you have to destroy what you want in order to get it out. I need an aspirin.

Soda and Candy said...

Tennyson - I know, right? That super-hard plastic that can only be opened with industrial bolt-cutters.

BeckEye said...

Why is it that when companies try to improve their packing, logo, or product, they always end up making it 10 times worse?

Soda and Candy said...

BeckEye - I don't know, but I think you're right.

FunnyGal KAT said...

It seems like most of the cookie (biscuit) manufacturers are going in that weird packaging direction. I also find it annoying, especially because I doubt having a huge flap about the size of half the package is keeping the stuff inside very fresh (not that they last that long in my house anyway...)

Anonymous said...

to me, Fig Newtons are like a cookie made of lies. A healthy snack disguised as something delicious. Eff you Fig Newtons!

Soda and Candy said...

Prosy - Hahahaha! Who would have guessed the depths of blogger hatred for Fig Newtons? Not me, that's for sure.

Kat - That's the trick, eat them so fast they don't have time to get stale! We do that with Chips Ahoy.

Anonymous said...

I don't care what anyone says; Fig Newtons are pretty good.

I've also ran into this packaging problem you speak of with the Newtons. See also: Oreo cookie packaging. See also: Grrrrr.

Soda and Candy said...

Yes! Let us band together in our appreciation of this misunderstood cookie. Don't hate!