Eff you, Nabisco.

Fig Newtons are a rectangular cookie (or biscuit for non-American readers) made by Nabisco. They recently redesigned the packaging for Fig Newtons. In the old plastic wrap packet, you simply opened one end and out came the Newtons. The new packet is made of some kind of thin foil and is resealable.

This is great for freshness, partially because of the foil, but mainly because you cannot get the damn cookies out of the packet, because the resealable lip covers a good portion of one side of the cookies (see fig. 1).

To make matters worse, the Fig Newtons are packed in like sardines, so you can't grip around the cookie to pull it out, and they also have a tendency to crumble, so your only option is to destroy the corners on a few until you have created enough space around one to pull it out.

Eff you, Nabisco.

*****
In other news, I have been awarded the Slippers of Glory by the delightful sas. She is one of many saucy redheads to be found in the blogosphere, but she is also a Kiwi living in London; it is quite lovely to read of another Antipodean expat's exploits!

Thanks, sas!

Literal Sketch Competition Winners!

Thank you so much to everyone who participated in my Secret Sketch competition! Turnout wasn't as high as I hoped, but every single entry that I received made me very happy, so I just had to give an award to each and every participant (although, yes, there is one overall winner - no peeking)!

There were three different Literal Sketches, so even if you participated, there are two to see that you will not have anticipated.

Let's get started!


Category 1: Burning the Candle at Both Ends.

Most Punnilicious: Scope, burning the Ken Doll at both ends!

Incidentally, I did try to hand out the three categories evenly, but Scope was the only one in this category who ended up doing it.

***

Category 2: Monkey Wrench

Best use of Clip Art: Miss.Chief - just look at this adorable, cheery fellow.



Literal Sketchiest: Mr Condescending - I love that his tail is the wrenching mechanism. Also, the look of unbridled joy on his cute little face!


Most dazed & confused: Cora - Heehee, look at his spirally crazy eye!



Most Surprising Tangent: The Imaginary Reviewer, with a...


... monk-y wrench!

***

Category 3: Badgering the Witness

Most "Wait, is that even a badger?": Words... words... words... - I would hate to be under cross-examination by this evil and ferocious creature! It turns out American badgers are way more bad-ass than British ones.


Most worth handing in at the last minute: Morgan - I love that the bunny looks as if she is being extremely badgered!

And the overall winner is...


Drumroll please.....



Simon - The fact that this looks like a courtroom sketch is genius, but for some reason it's that little outstretched paw that just kills me.







Thank you so much to everyone who played. Maybe I will have to run this again sometime and more people might have a go?

Ladies and gentlemen, please take your Sweet Blogger Awards and display them with pride!

The drought recedes as quickly as it arrived.

Okay so you guys are the best.

Oddly enough I randomly came up with a few ideas for future posts that had nothing to do with anyone's comments, but I know you all did it for the glory, so here is the list of winners, which I basically decided not on the quality of your comments (because they were all awesome, even the unhelpful ones) or even the quality of the ideas therein (I think memes are a good idea, but I'm not feeling them for this blog right now), but of their usefulness to me in particular:

TishTash - for sucking up and giving me a plotline idea - your chapter is coming up next.

thechrlog - for apparently believing I could write a novel. It got me thinking about doing more creative writing. Or are you just trying to say my posts are too long?

joshlos - because you put your hand up to be in the Chronicles. Although I'll have to think about the kung-fu angle.

Eric
Tennyson
Well Fed Graphic Designer
mo.stoneskin
Cora
- because (like all women) I'm a sucker for compliments.





Oh yeah and the offer to Chronicle anyone in my sidebar (because if you're not there, chances are I don't know you well enough to write you a character) still stands, but I think I need you to put your hand up for it. So please volunteer at any time.