Longing.

I stood up straight suddenly, whatever I was doing forgotten
pierced through the heart with a sudden intense longing for that place
The place I used to live

The stale smell of the city held inside the bus
inside my lungs
until I stepped out at the beach
The wind blowing in off the ocean
whipping sand at my legs
Salt in the air - taste it, breathe its freshness.

The waves were turquoise glitter by day, soft black oil at night.

I still live near to the sea (I don't think I could ever live far from shore)
But it's not the same shore, not the same sea
So I longed for that place I used to live.

Thesis: Project Runway as Cultural Lens.

WARNING: Highly subjective, opinionated, sweepingly generalized and probably factually inaccurate (not to mention ridiculously long) blog post ahead.
As always, feel free to weigh in with your own opinion in the comments.
Also, this is like my 104th post! Somehow I keep missing the milestones. What luck that they're of no interest to anyone else.

I've been feeling homesick for my people. It started when I was watching the Australian version of Project Runway.

First of all, Aussies swear a lot. And swearing is much less restricted not only on network television but also on cable* TV. The Aussie Project Runway contestants were swearing their hearts out constantly. We're simply not that offended by it. I'm not saying preschoolers and old nannas are telling each other to eff off, but we just don't take it as seriously as Americans do. Particularly blasphemy, which is barely considered swearing at all, at least in terms of television censorship.

Not only that, simply the way Australians interact with one another is different. The difference is almost indefinable but I think this is what it is:

1. Aussies don't like putting themselves forward.
This is why the Australian version of Survivor failed and why the Aussie Project Runway contestants were dreadful at team challenges - no one wanted to tell other people what to do.
The Aussie Tim Gunn replacement didn't say "You have to pack your bags and leave", he said "I'm going to need you to pack your things and leave", thereby distancing himself from what was essentially an order. He made it sound like he wasn't telling them to leave, he was just letting them know that it needed to happen.
Americans tend to like trying things and are not afraid to take charge. Australians don't want to be seen as thinking they are better than you...

2. ... but they will never let you think you're superior to them.
American politeness involves a kind of deference that most Australians would choke on**. Americans tend to expect it should you be perceived as their social inferior in some way (like a waitress or a younger person). As a simple example, here in the South they are particularly fond of calling people "sir" and "ma'am", whereas in Australia you will often be called "mate", "darl" or "love" by people you've only just met (especially old ladies in fish & chip shops for some reason).

Aussies aren't rude exactly, they just don't kowtow to the idea of a class system. The working-class man is the idealized cultural icon of Australia, which probably has something to do with the current culture having been created by people from the lower echelons of the British class system... Oh crap, I think I just contradicted myself. I think what I mean to say is, there is some sort of class system inasmuch as there are different socio-economic levels in society but we place less importance on those levels in our interactions, and the highest level is definitely not the most respected.

We are appropriately polite, respectful to our elders and in professional situations, but there is an inherent understanding of equality as people that I believe flows through all Australian interactions.

One of the greatest sins in Australian culture is to be "up yourself" or arrogant, and if you are suspected of this great crime you will be mercilessly cut down - the downside of which is that often if you want to achieve great success you have to move somewhere like America where self-confidence and self-assurance are considered valuable and you can get a lot more arrogant before it starts grating on people.


*There are 5 free-to-air networks and cable TV exists, but is nowhere near as prevalent as in the US. Satellite TV is more or less unheard of, or at least was when I left.

**This may be why hospitality service in Australia seems to be a bit crappier than the US. Australians do not enjoy being in a position of servitude to other people, and compensate for it with a snotty attitude. Also they get paid a decent wage, so they don't need to kiss your arse*** for tips.

***I'm spelling it the Aussie way for this post; it seemed appropriate.

Over to You: "It was the best of times, it was the BLURST of times?!"

I was going to write a mini-thesis on the differences between Americans and Australians based on viewings of each country's Projecct Runway, but I haven't time*, so I want you guys to tell me:

1. Which country you live in
2. The first great thing about that country that springs to mind
3. The first bad thing about that country that springs to mind

I've been feeling a little homesick and I think it might help.


*Although I may still write this someday soon.

Can We Talk About: Homesickness.

I don't actually get homesick that much but when I do it's like being stabbed in the guts. It's sharp and painful.

Things I miss (starting, appropriately enough, with soda and candy):

Schweppes Lemonade. Lemonade in Australia is not what Americans refer to as lemonade. It's basically Sprite or any similar beverage, like Seven-Up (Schweppes is just my favorite brand of this type of soda; it's not as syrupy-sweet as Sprite).
It irritates me that there is no generic name for this soda flavor here in the US.
What you call lemonade in the US doesn't really exist in Australia. I guess Aussies would call it homemade lemonade.
On a related note, what you call soda, we call soft drink.

Milko lollies. Lollies are what you guys call candy. Milkos are delicious chewy lollies that taste sort of like vanilla milkshake. There are also tongue-staining red raspberry-flavored ones called Redskins. They used to have a charming picture of a Native American gentleman on the wrapper but I'm pretty sure he's gone now, even though they haven't renamed them*.

Toffee Apple bars. We call candy apples toffee apples. Toffee Apple bars are a red & green striped bar of chewy candy . The red part sort of tastes like the candy coating of a candy apple, and the green part sort of tastes like apple flavor, but the whole thing tastes excitingly of insulin shock.

Also, they don't even have caramel apples in Australia, to the country's devastating detriment. Thick gooey sweet caramel surrounding a crispy, tart green apple is one of life's great pleasures.

*Shut up, they're not our native people. And you named a football team after them. Shame on you.