In the spirit of the holiday season, and to heap guilt upon those who didn't participate, I declare each and every entry in the latest Mad Blogs a winner! You all get a super special Christmas colored Sweet Blogger Award.
Here are all the entries, reproduced in the order in which they commented.
Feel free to praise your favorites in the comments!
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HUNTER
Bangkok Fashion Week is the dumbest new event on the fashion calendar.
Gorgeous models will be quickly strutting their stuff in looks by the most smelly designers.
The first runway show is starting! Just look at those fabulous sequined crotchless panties. And those darling little hats shaped like bitches!
That Gimp Mask is hand beaded with 10,000 Swarovski crystals. It took centuries to sew them all on!
The designer told me that this season, it's all about the nipple. All the outfits are designed to emphasize it as much as possible (and, the entire collection is knitted from wombat hair, can you believe it?
See you at the next show, my little platypuses.
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SIMON
Bath Fashion Week is the unlikeliest new event on the fashion calendar.
Gorgeous models will be voraciously strutting their stuff in looks by the most inflexible designers.
The first runway show is starting! Just look at that fabulous sequined gingham dress. And those darling little hats shaped like potatoes!
That bowler hat is hand beaded with one hundred and eighty-three Swarovski crystals. It took twenty-seven years and nine months to sew them all on!
The designer told me that this season, it's all about the pancreas. All the outfits are designed to emphasize it as much as possible (and, the entire collection is knitted from rhinoceros hair, can you believe it?
See you at the next show, my little aardvarks.
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CORA
Seattle Fashion Week is the skankiest new event on the fashion calendar.
Gorgeous models will be rudely strutting their stuff in looks by the most bulging designers.
The first runway show is starting! Just look at that fabulous sequined thong. And those darling little hats shaped like marbles!
That trench coat is hand beaded with 101 Swarovski crystals. It took 2 minutes to sew them all on!
The designer told me that this season, it's all about the thumb. All the outfits are designed to emphasize it as much as possible (and, the entire collection is knitted from whale hair, can you believe it?
See you at the next show, my little chipmunks.
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MORGAN THE MUSE
Des Moines, Iowa (pronounced DEE Moyn) Fashion Week is the scrapiest new event on the fashion calendar.
Gorgeous models will be deadly strutting their stuff in looks by the most theft-proof designers.
The first runway show is starting! Just look at that fabulous sequined dead animal. And those darling little hats shaped like octopodes!
That unitard is hand beaded with 42 Swarovski crystals. It took an epoch to sew them all on!
The designer told me that this season, it's all about the right index finger. All the outfits are designed to emphasize it as much as possible (and, the entire collection is knitted from unicorn hair, can you believe it?
See you at the next show, my little elephants.
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SCOPE
Mudfork, West Virginia Fashion Week is the a$$-backwardest new event on the fashion calendar.
Gorgeous models will be bubbly strutting their stuff in looks by the most gnarled designers.
The first runway show is starting! Just look at that fabulous sequined corset. And those darling little hats shaped like footballs!
Those fishnet stockings are hand beaded with 12 Swarovski crystals. It took a fortnight to sew them all on!
The designer told me that this season, it's all about the big toe. All the outfits are designed to emphasize it as much as possible (and, the entire collection is knitted from moose hair, can you believe it?
See you at the next show, my little geese.
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MO.STONESKIN
Berlin Fashion Week is the Frenchest new event on the fashion calendar.
Gorgeous models will be extremely strutting their stuff in looks by the most yellow designers.
The first runway show is starting! Just look at that fabulous sequined fingerless glove. And those darling little hats shaped like hamsters!
That slipper is hand beaded with 7 Swarovski crystals. It took 40 seconds to sew them all on!
The designer told me that this season, it's all about the bum. All the outfits are designed to emphasize it as much as possible (and, the entire collection is knitted from giraffe hair, can you believe it?
See you at the next show, my little lemurs.
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BECKEYE
Poughkeepsie Fashion Week is the surliest new event on the fashion calendar.
Gorgeous models will be beautifully strutting their stuff in looks by the most ridiculous designers.
The first runway show is starting! Just look at that fabulous sequined bra. And those darling little hats shaped like monsters!
That dickey is hand beaded with 300 Swarovski crystals. It took 3 weeks to sew them all on!
The designer told me that this season, it's all about the index finger. All the outfits are designed to emphasize it as much as possible (and, the entire collection is knitted from cheetah hair, can you believe it?
See you at the next show, my little eels.
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and last but not least,
WORDS... WORDS... WORDS...
Intercourse, PA Fashion Week is the soggiest new event on the fashion calendar.
Gorgeous models will be superciliously strutting their stuff in looks by the most stanky designers.
The first runway show is starting! Just look at that fabulous sequined ascot. And those darling little hats shaped like pineapples!
That dickie is hand beaded with 19 Swarovski crystals. It took seventeen minutes to sew them all on!
The designer told me that this season, it's all about the earlobe. All the outfits are designed to emphasize it as much as possible (and, the entire collection is knitted from polar bear hair, can you believe it?
See you at the next show, my little cicadas.
13 comments:
Ha! One of the cards sent to me last Christmas was a postcard showing the delights of Intercourse, Pennsylvania. I still have it, naturally.
Thanks you. I shall hold my lollipop closely, and only allow the most exemplary of women to suck it.
That was fun! Thanks for the sweet lollipop.
Simon - I never would have guessed that under your calm dignified beard, I mean exterior, beats the heart of a true hedonist.
Hunter - You're welcome!
Thank you very much. I have already added it to my wall of bling!
SWEEEEEET! Thank you Soda & Candy! Merry Christmas! :-)
I was going to make fun of WWW's spelling of "dickey" (and for stealing my word) but I looked it up and apparently both ways are correct. The world even accepts "dicky," which I just think is wrong.
When you said I had an award, I knew it was too good to be true that I had won. Oh well, I will accept it anyway. :DD
CoraScope - Merry Xmas to you both!
BeckEye - You said "dicky" Heh heh. But I think your way is the most correct.
Morgan - Don't be like that! You gave the world the phrase "fabulous sequined dead animal". You should be proud!
I'm bummed I missed this! I think I'd like to morph one of each contestant's words into the finale. I mean-- unitard, dickie, cicada, hamster, fortnight, bulging, pancreas, gimp mask, ascot... those are all gems unto themselves. :)
hahaha. these were hilarious!
180|360 - Yes, a mega-super-entry! Everyone had some choice words.
CA - Right? Now don't you wish you had played?
Yes i do wish i played. :/
p.s. Thank you for having my "back" so to speak, on my post and the person saying im "close minded" lol. what a douche.
CA - I didn't even understand where that loser was coming from! I am an immigrant to America myself so I feel like I have something to say on that score, even without as many differences as you described.
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