Mad Blogs VII: Mad Style

Merry Day Off, everyone!

In the spirit of the holiday season, and to heap guilt upon those who didn't participate, I declare each and every entry in the latest Mad Blogs a winner! You all get a super special Christmas colored Sweet Blogger Award.


Here are all the entries, reproduced in the order in which they commented.

Feel free to praise your favorites in the comments!


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HUNTER

Bangkok Fashion Week is the dumbest new event on the fashion calendar.

Gorgeous models will be quickly strutting their stuff in looks by the most smelly designers.

The first runway show is starting! Just look at those fabulous sequined crotchless panties. And those darling little hats shaped like bitches!

That Gimp Mask is hand beaded with 10,000 Swarovski crystals. It took centuries to sew them all on!

The designer told me that this season, it's all about the nipple. All the outfits are designed to emphasize it as much as possible (and, the entire collection is knitted from wombat hair, can you believe it?

See you at the next show, my little platypuses.

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SIMON

Bath Fashion Week is the unlikeliest new event on the fashion calendar.

Gorgeous models will be voraciously strutting their stuff in looks by the most inflexible designers.

The first runway show is starting! Just look at that fabulous sequined gingham dress. And those darling little hats shaped like potatoes!

That bowler hat is hand beaded with one hundred and eighty-three Swarovski crystals. It took twenty-seven years and nine months to sew them all on!

The designer told me that this season, it's all about the pancreas. All the outfits are designed to emphasize it as much as possible (and, the entire collection is knitted from rhinoceros hair, can you believe it?

See you at the next show, my little aardvarks.

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CORA

Seattle Fashion Week is the skankiest new event on the fashion calendar.

Gorgeous models will be rudely strutting their stuff in looks by the most bulging designers.

The first runway show is starting! Just look at that fabulous sequined thong. And those darling little hats shaped like marbles!

That trench coat is hand beaded with 101 Swarovski crystals. It took 2 minutes to sew them all on!

The designer told me that this season, it's all about the thumb. All the outfits are designed to emphasize it as much as possible (and, the entire collection is knitted from whale hair, can you believe it?

See you at the next show, my little chipmunks.

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MORGAN THE MUSE

Des Moines, Iowa (pronounced DEE Moyn) Fashion Week is the scrapiest new event on the fashion calendar.

Gorgeous models will be deadly strutting their stuff in looks by the most theft-proof designers.

The first runway show is starting! Just look at that fabulous sequined dead animal. And those darling little hats shaped like octopodes!

That unitard is hand beaded with 42 Swarovski crystals. It took an epoch to sew them all on!

The designer told me that this season, it's all about the right index finger. All the outfits are designed to emphasize it as much as possible (and, the entire collection is knitted from unicorn hair, can you believe it?

See you at the next show, my little elephants.

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SCOPE

Mudfork, West Virginia Fashion Week is the a$$-backwardest new event on the fashion calendar.

Gorgeous models will be bubbly strutting their stuff in looks by the most gnarled designers.

The first runway show is starting! Just look at that fabulous sequined corset. And those darling little hats shaped like footballs!

Those fishnet stockings are hand beaded with 12 Swarovski crystals. It took a fortnight to sew them all on!

The designer told me that this season, it's all about the big toe. All the outfits are designed to emphasize it as much as possible (and, the entire collection is knitted from moose hair, can you believe it?

See you at the next show, my little geese.

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MO.STONESKIN

Berlin Fashion Week is the Frenchest new event on the fashion calendar.

Gorgeous models will be extremely strutting their stuff in looks by the most yellow designers.

The first runway show is starting! Just look at that fabulous sequined fingerless glove. And those darling little hats shaped like hamsters!

That slipper is hand beaded with 7 Swarovski crystals. It took 40 seconds to sew them all on!

The designer told me that this season, it's all about the bum. All the outfits are designed to emphasize it as much as possible (and, the entire collection is knitted from giraffe hair, can you believe it?

See you at the next show, my little lemurs.

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BECKEYE

Poughkeepsie Fashion Week is the surliest new event on the fashion calendar.

Gorgeous models will be beautifully strutting their stuff in looks by the most ridiculous designers.

The first runway show is starting! Just look at that fabulous sequined bra. And those darling little hats shaped like monsters!

That dickey is hand beaded with 300 Swarovski crystals. It took 3 weeks to sew them all on!

The designer told me that this season, it's all about the index finger. All the outfits are designed to emphasize it as much as possible (and, the entire collection is knitted from cheetah hair, can you believe it?

See you at the next show, my little eels.

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and last but not least,
WORDS... WORDS... WORDS...

Intercourse, PA Fashion Week is the soggiest new event on the fashion calendar.

Gorgeous models will be superciliously strutting their stuff in looks by the most stanky designers.

The first runway show is starting! Just look at that fabulous sequined ascot. And those darling little hats shaped like pineapples!

That dickie is hand beaded with 19 Swarovski crystals. It took seventeen minutes to sew them all on!

The designer told me that this season, it's all about the earlobe. All the outfits are designed to emphasize it as much as possible (and, the entire collection is knitted from polar bear hair, can you believe it?

See you at the next show, my little cicadas.

Mad Blogs VI: Mad Gossip

The winner of Mad Blogs VI, by an eyelash, is BeckEye!

BeckEye, you are a Sweet Blogger.

Honorable mentions to Joshlos and Sabine, whose entries also tickled my funnybone!

Here's the winning entry - (and the blank version is below it, for those of you who want to see how well the other word choices work - just pop-up the comments from last post and follow along replacing words as you go).
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Mad Gossip

The latest celebrity gossip by Rhonda Mango.

• Emmanuel Lewis shocked everyone today by announcing his plans to retire and move to Swaziland to become a dog catcher.

• Wilford Brimley and Cyndi Lauper were seen in an L.A. nightclub, holding hands, kissing and sharing a big plate of pickled bull testicles. "It was frisky, the way they were carrying on!" said one bystander.

• A source close to Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute says the artist plans to adopt 33 children as soon as possible, saying "It can't be much harder than looking after my pet blue footed booby."


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Mad Gossip

The latest celebrity gossip by woman's name | fruit.

• male celebrity shocked everyone today by announcing his plans to retire and move to geographical location to become a profession.

• famous actor and celebrity were seen in an L.A. nightclub, holding hands, kissing and sharing a big plate of food. "It was adjective, the way they were carrying on!" said one bystander.

• A source close to famous musician (living) says the artist plans to adopt number children as soon as possible, saying "It can't be much harder than looking after my pet animal."

Mad Blogs V: Mad Interiors.

Everyone did awesome, but there can only be one winner. Because I said so and it's my competition. Don't look so sad, your fabulous word choices made me laugh too!

Just not as much as... miss.chief! the winner!
Chiefy, you are a Sweet Blogger.
Honorable mentions go to 180|360, who ran a very close second, and Parpnelope Parpfield-Parpington (or Steam Me Up, Kid as she is more commonly known) for making me keep giggling and saying "Armoire!" to myself.

Here's the winning entry - (and the blank version is below it, for those of you who want to see how well the other word choices work - just pop-up the comments from last post and follow along replacing words as you go).
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Welcome to Mad Interiors, the fluffiest interior decorating show on the moon. I'm your host, Billy Magenta.

Well, I'm sure you're all aware of the recent craze for 1960's style in interiors. Who could forget the Shamwow guy declaring in the school newspaper "I'd sell my first-born child for that boring style in my mom's basement!"

But that's so 3 years ago! Now everyone is painting their walls brown and upholstering their furniture with anaconda pelts. Coming up in 9 minutes, we show you how to make an authentic Japanese chesterfield using only a spork, three skeletons and a hollowed out spaghetti squash.



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Welcome to Mad Interiors, the adjective ending in -est interior decorating show in location. I'm your host, man's first name | color.

Well, I'm sure you're all aware of the recent craze for historical era style in interiors. Who could forget celebrity declaring in publication "I'd sell my first-born child for that adjective style in my type of dwelling!"

But that's so period of time ago! Now everyone is painting their walls color and upholstering their furniture with animal pelts. Coming up, we show you how to make an authentic ethnicity | piece of furniture using only a noun, three plural noun and a hollowed out vegetable.

Mad Blogs IV: Mad Weapon.

Once again you guys all did amazing.

In fact, this time I had to pick TWO winners!

Words...words...words..., a blogger whose cromulence embiggens us all

And...

Currently Untitled, for being super-Aussie and using ace Aussie words!

You are Sweet Bloggers!!!*

Here's your COMBINED winning entry (and the blank version is below it, for those of you who want to see how awesome the other word choices were).

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The plot of the latest Hollywood blockbuster, brought to you by Mad Blogs:

Set on the mean streets of Intercourse, PA, a buddy movie like you've never embiggened.

A cromulent redneck detective, played by Gary Busey is partnered with a bogan detective, played by Nicole Kidman. Detective Rurtaugh has just turned 42 and only has a light year before retirement. Rurtaugh's new partner, Miggs, just lost his wife in a tragic hansom cab accident and is cross.

Together they uncover a huge Wii smuggling operation and end up becoming tragic friends.

Best quote from the movie: "I'm too futile for this double-wide!



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The plot of the latest Hollywood blockbuster, brought to you by Mad Blogs:

Set on the mean streets of city, a buddy movie like you've never past tense verb.

A adjective ethnicity detective, played by famous actor - male or female is partnered with a adjective detective, played by a different famous actor - male or female. Detective Rurtaugh has just turned number and only has length of time before retirement. Rurtaugh's new partner, Miggs, just lost his wife in a tragic mode of transport accident and is emotional state.

Together they uncover a huge noun smuggling operation and end up becoming adjective friends.

Best quote from the movie: "I'm too adjective for this noun!
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*And I haven't forgotten about the super special extra secret part of your reward either; all will be revealed in my next post.

Mad Blogs III: Mad Cooking Skills

You guys.

You guys are all such geniuses that I almost couldn't pick a winner. Then I picked one, and then I thought, maybe I should pick someone else, because this person has such an amazingly happy thing happening for them right now that they probably don't even care that much about blog awards (I know, right? Sacrilege.) but then I thought you know what? She made me laugh.

So Cora, even though you're in the process of falling madly in love with our fellow blogger Scope and probably couldn't give two *hoots*, you still win this Sweet Blogger Award!


Congratulations and here is your winning entry!
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Hark! Who goes there?! Welcome to Mad Cooking!

Today, we're going to make a really skanky soup that everyone will love. Why, I made this for my evil step-mother, and she left me 22.829117 Russian Roubles in her will!

First, choose a nice piece of lemming. I find that the ass is especially tender.
Dice up and fry the meat, with 69 ounces of butter, in a large frying pan until well browned.

In a large stew pot, bring 666 liters of chicken stock to the boil and simmer. Take 3 cucumbers - making sure they're sweaty! - and chop into small pieces, then add to the stock.

Next, oddly chop up some palm tree and corn, and add to the soup.

Add the meat, simmer for 12 seconds and serve at -19 degrees.

"THIS is American Idol!"! If that doesn't make your dinner guests morose, I don't know what will!
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And just for kicks, here's the blank version so you can see how awesome everyone else was (open the comments pop-up from the entry post and fill in the blanks as you read.)



Greeting! Welcome to Mad Cooking!

Today, we're going to make a really adjective soup that everyone will love. Why, I made this for my female relative, and she left me number unit of currency in her will!

First, choose a nice piece of animal. I find that the body part is especially tender.
Dice up and fry the meat, with number ounces of butter, in a large frying pan until well browned.

In a large stew pot, bring number liters of chicken stock to the boil and simmer. Take 3 vegetables - making sure they're adjective! - and chop into small pieces, then add to the stock.

Next, adverb ending in -ly chop up some plant and vegetable, and add to the soup.

Add the meat, simmer for length of time and serve at temperature.

Exclamation! If that doesn't make your dinner guests emotional state, I don't know what will!

Over To You: Mad Blogs III

Time for another installment of everyone's favorite blog game, Mad Blogs™!

... which I invented (WORSHIP ME, MORTALS!!!).

...okay, maybe invented is a strong word.

If you don't already know, Mad Blogs™ is the blog version of Mad Libs:

1. I give you a list of blanks to fill
2. You respond with your filler words in the comments
3. I pick my favorite set of answers after an arbitrarily assigned a predetermined length of time. I guess like four days from time of posting oughta do it.
   
4. I post the completed Mad Blog™ and a Sweet Blogger award for the winner!

Here are the blanks:
greeting
adjective
female relative
number
unit of currency
animal
body part
number
number
vegetable
adjective
adverb ending in -ly
plant
vegetable
length of time
temperature
exclamation
emotional state

Over To You: Mad Blogs II

Mad Blogs™ proved to be so popular that I wanted to give it another go.

I will be leaving this one up for a few days though - it seems I did not allow enough time for people to post entries for the first one.

For those of you just joining us, Mad Blogs™ is the blog version of Mad Libs:

1. I give you a list of blanks to fill
2. You respond with your filler words in the comments
3. I pick my favorite set of answers
4. I post the completed Mad Blog™ and a Sweet Blogger award for the winner!

Here is the list of blanks:
greeting
plural noun
adjective
length of time
adverb ending in -ly
number
sport
time of day
animal
plural noun
body part
emotional state
exclamation
adjective

Over To You: Mad Blogs

UPDATE: This contest is now closed, but please feel free to create/post your own entries anyway!!!

I need your help, readers!

I had a great idea for a post but it's only going to work if you guys pitch in.

So... remember Mad Libs? They're basically short stories with words missing, and you get someone who doesn't know what the story is to give you words to fill in the blanks.

I want to do the bloggy version, so I'm going to give you a list of the blanks to fill - you respond in the comments.

I'll pick the only my favorite response and then post the completed Mad Blog.

Also, the winner gets an award if I can figure out how to post one of the damn things!

So please give it a go!

Here are the blanks:
[length of time]
[adjective]
[type of dwelling]
[mode of transport]
[name of city]
[number]
[adjective]
[weather condition]
[body part]
[adverb ending in -ly]
[type of business]
[adjective]
[number]
[animal]
[adverb ending in -ly]
[TV show]
[number]
[adjective]

(Holy crap, that turned out to be a lot longer list than I thought!!! )