Dear Ladies of the blogosphere,
When a gentleman holds a door for you to allow you to go through ahead of him, do you
a) hold in the fart until you are far enough away to let out the daintiest rose-scented pfft and still keep your admittedly shaky reputation as a lady?
or
b) let one rip in his face in an implied threat to the patriarchy as you strut past?
numer darowizny: SRTF/067/SWD .
1 month ago
23 comments:
What is this "fart" you speak of, I'm a lady, I do not emit stinks from my lady posterior!
Ladies fart???
I'm . . . I'm shocked.
hahahahhahaha
A?
While I am not qualified to answer this question (a gentleman holding the door would not notice such a thing if it were ever to happen, which it wouldn't. Nor would it give him an excuse to look at the lady's bottom as she passed.)
What I am qualified to tell you is that you won an award over at my place today.
As a gentleman who often holds door for ladies between the times I am throwing my waistcoat over puddles for them to walk on, I no longer breathe in while holding doors for the fairer sex. Because if given the opportunity, I believe most of you women would let fly right into our mouth.
Or (c) insist you hold the door open and let him through, as a modern woman, before cutting the cheese outside. You go girl. Go outside that is.
Don
www.workforced.com
so funny you'll shit.
Veg - Well of course YOU don't, oh consort of God, but us mere mortal ladies...
The Jules - There, there. I was just making it up!
CA - I went with (a).
Scope - Thank you! You are a true gentleman, sir.
SkyDad - Serves you right for oppressing us!
Workforced - Hahaha! You were funny, so I'll overlook the shameless blog plug AND the profanity.
OT - I found Tim Tams (sp?) at a local electronics merchandiser yesterday.
Woah, that's a tough one.
I have to reeeaaaly think about that for a while.
I guess if said gentelman is my BROTHER...the answer B is most certainly the scene I envision.
Payback's a beeyoch....
Men fart, ladies pass wind!
Eric - That is bizarre, but I hope you bought them! We bought one packet of Caramel ones and one packet of Dark Chocolate ones on the weekend.
Candy - Hahahahaha, the kind of brother that steals your french fries and farts in your face? Yeah, payback is definitely in order.
Mysterg - Delicate, flower-scented wind.
C)Let it out to the side right before walking through the door =D
I think they sell fart deodorizers. I think I saw them on Chelsea Lately.
Youthful - ahahaha, excellent!
Sam_I_am - But lady farts don't smell bad!!! ; )
my farts smell like pumpkins and roses. they'd be LUCKY to get such a whiff.
in other news, j dutch ovened me for the first time in our 5 years of wedded bliss.
The answer is c) let 'er rip and then wink and say "There's more where that came from, big boy".
SJ - So, first anniversary is paper, and 5th anniversary is wind? I'll remember that!
Miss Yvonne "...IF you don't let me rescue Carlos Spicy Wiener." amiright?
I don't wish to read any answers to this question, as I may have my illusions shattered.
WWW - Ha! Ignorance may truly be bliss in this case.
Wait, girls think about this stuff? What else do they think about? WHAT ELSE?!?!
Andy - Hahahaha, that would be telling!
*begin ramble*
First, I do not mind it at all if a man opens a door for me, because if I get there first I'm sooooooo going to hold the door open for him (I do this all the time) so to me it's just a person being nice. End o' story.
Second, since my spinal surgery I lost my ability to hold in farts. Completely. Don't ask me why, it just is what it is. The backdoor is forever unlocked now and the farts just fly whenever they feel like it. TMI, I know, I know, but YOU started it, so you have no-one to blame but yourself. *wink*
And I'm so very thankful that Scope farted in front of me before I ever farted in front of him. And I'm still not sure he's ever caught me farting in front of him either because he's never given a reaction. Maybe he's a gentleman. Or maybe he's just oblivious. I dunno. (maybe I should ask him?) But the first time that man farted in front of me I laughed my face off because I was soooooooo relieved he'd been the one to break the breaking wind ice! (what?) YES!!
*end ramble*
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