X factor

I am X.

Only a small percentage of all humans are X, so I guess you could say I was in a minority (interestingly, I have heard that the percentage is slightly higher among creative types).

You can't tell I'm X just by looking at me. Most people are surprised when they find out that I am X. X is not a characteristic I chose to have, but one that is naturally part of who I am. Being X is something you are born with.

Not so long ago, being X was seen as wrong, even a sign of evil. My grandfather was X, but when it was found out, he was physically punished and forced to be not-X. These days, most people don't see anything wrong with being X. You might even see an X character in a movie or TV show.

What is X? Highlight the line below to find out.
X = left-handed

How many Horsemen of the Apocalypse?

Pestilence, War, Famine, Death, Using Literally When You Mean Figuratively.

Who are your bonus Horsemen of the Apocalypse?

Steamed.

When I step out of the shower I feel glorious.

Full and luscious and soft, my skin plump with water and gently steaming like the fluffiest, whitest bun. My lime and brown sugar scrub makes me smell like the promise of a mojito.

Then I pull on my jeans... and suddenly I feel like a giant blob of sausage stuffed into not enough skin.

Did that actually just happen?

In the dentist's waiting room, a large woman with an extreme mullet (crew-cut in the front and waist length waves in the back) loudly discussed her gastric bypass surgery and then proudly described her checkers set...

...the pieces of which were shot glasses...

...with Dale Earnhardt Junior for one side and NASCAR for the other...

...She picked up this gem for the incredible sum of fifteen dollars at Big Lots*.

And I am a terrible person, because I could not keep a straight face. I'm not made of stone, people. But honestly, good for her. We should all be made so happy so easily. But perhaps with better haircuts.



*A dreadful discount goods store where everything is either broken, overpriced for its quality level, unbelievably tacky, or some combination of these three.

Yummy yummy yummy I got love in my tummy

I ate a new flavor of ice-cream the other day called Denali Bear Claw. It's basically a creamy dark chocolate ice-cream with goopy caramel swirls and little chocolate coated cashew clusters.

It tasted like there was a party in my mouth... and everyone was getting it on. Aw yeah.

What foods make you ecstatically happy? (And why aren't you eating a big bowl of them right now instead of reading this nonsense?)

Reader Poll: Change or stay the same?

Mr. And Candy and I have been watching The Marriage Ref. Basically, if you haven't watched it, married couples submit their arguments for dissection and resolution by the host, Tom Papa, and a variety of celebrity panelists. Whoever wins according to the host has to give up the argument and concede defeat, but all the couples get a fabulous luxury holiday just for being on the show, so don't cry too hard for the losers!

I'm sure you will think me a philistine for enjoying it but I do. It is not so hard to recognize oneself in the petty yet deeply felt arguments of other married folk, and of course the smug feeling of superiority when viewing arguments much more petty, ridiculous and or lower class than one's own is hugely enjoyable.

Anyway. One of the recent arguments was a husband who wanted his wife to change her last name to his, and she didn't want to. Part, but not all, of her reasoning was that she worked in radio and was known by her "maiden" name professionally.

The panelists pretty much agreed that it was up to her, except then it kind of veered off into "She should be allowed to keep it professionally but she should change it in her personal life like for checking accounts and so on" - this is exactly what the two female panelists, Kelly Ripa (Consuelos) and Demi Moore (Kutcher) had done, after all. To be honest with you I was sort of shocked that these other arguments were even brought up, especially by women, because to me this is a case where "I don't want to" is an end-of-story type deal.

I just kind of assumed in today's modern world that since we no longer view women as property changing hands from father to husband that it had become a matter of choice solely up to the woman (seeing as her life is the only one affected). I changed mine, because I wanted to. I probably wouldn't have if his last name had been worse than mine, like, Maggott or Fartstein or something.

What do the wise citizens of the blogosphere have to say on this matter?

Over to You: And now for something completely different...

What do you guys think of t-shirts with stuff written on them?

I do love witticisms on t-shirts, but being petite of frame means I have to choose very short ones, and being a girl means I have to think carefully about whether I really want to give anyone an excuse to stare at my chest - "What? I was just reading your t-shirt!"

But I like them on other people, as long as they're funny and/or witty and not some lame garbage like "Female Body Inspector" or "I'm with Stupid". One of my all-time favorites is "I found Jesus... He was behind the couch the whole time."

What's your favorite t-shirt witticism? Or alternatively, what's one you WISH was on a t-shirt?