Mad Blogs III: Mad Cooking Skills

You guys.

You guys are all such geniuses that I almost couldn't pick a winner. Then I picked one, and then I thought, maybe I should pick someone else, because this person has such an amazingly happy thing happening for them right now that they probably don't even care that much about blog awards (I know, right? Sacrilege.) but then I thought you know what? She made me laugh.

So Cora, even though you're in the process of falling madly in love with our fellow blogger Scope and probably couldn't give two *hoots*, you still win this Sweet Blogger Award!


Congratulations and here is your winning entry!
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Hark! Who goes there?! Welcome to Mad Cooking!

Today, we're going to make a really skanky soup that everyone will love. Why, I made this for my evil step-mother, and she left me 22.829117 Russian Roubles in her will!

First, choose a nice piece of lemming. I find that the ass is especially tender.
Dice up and fry the meat, with 69 ounces of butter, in a large frying pan until well browned.

In a large stew pot, bring 666 liters of chicken stock to the boil and simmer. Take 3 cucumbers - making sure they're sweaty! - and chop into small pieces, then add to the stock.

Next, oddly chop up some palm tree and corn, and add to the soup.

Add the meat, simmer for 12 seconds and serve at -19 degrees.

"THIS is American Idol!"! If that doesn't make your dinner guests morose, I don't know what will!
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And just for kicks, here's the blank version so you can see how awesome everyone else was (open the comments pop-up from the entry post and fill in the blanks as you read.)



Greeting! Welcome to Mad Cooking!

Today, we're going to make a really adjective soup that everyone will love. Why, I made this for my female relative, and she left me number unit of currency in her will!

First, choose a nice piece of animal. I find that the body part is especially tender.
Dice up and fry the meat, with number ounces of butter, in a large frying pan until well browned.

In a large stew pot, bring number liters of chicken stock to the boil and simmer. Take 3 vegetables - making sure they're adjective! - and chop into small pieces, then add to the stock.

Next, adverb ending in -ly chop up some plant and vegetable, and add to the soup.

Add the meat, simmer for length of time and serve at temperature.

Exclamation! If that doesn't make your dinner guests emotional state, I don't know what will!

Over To You: Mad Blogs III

Time for another installment of everyone's favorite blog game, Mad Blogs™!

... which I invented (WORSHIP ME, MORTALS!!!).

...okay, maybe invented is a strong word.

If you don't already know, Mad Blogs™ is the blog version of Mad Libs:

1. I give you a list of blanks to fill
2. You respond with your filler words in the comments
3. I pick my favorite set of answers after an arbitrarily assigned a predetermined length of time. I guess like four days from time of posting oughta do it.
   
4. I post the completed Mad Blog™ and a Sweet Blogger award for the winner!

Here are the blanks:
greeting
adjective
female relative
number
unit of currency
animal
body part
number
number
vegetable
adjective
adverb ending in -ly
plant
vegetable
length of time
temperature
exclamation
emotional state

Ode to Dr Pepper

Dr Pepper
Is my favorite soda
This rhyme is cheating
But it deserves an ode-a

It reminds me of childhood
And that's always nice
I think it tastes best
With a butt-load of ice

Not everyone likes Dr P
Sad but true
When an Aussie says they hate it
I pity the foo'

What is that flavor?
(Twenty-three, to be exact)
Nothing tastes quite like it
Not Pibb, that's a fact.

That's another thing to note
Dr Pepper is clever
When did Pibb go to med school?
That's right, it was never.

Mad Blogs II: The Bloggening*

Okay seriously, it was SO HARD to pick a winner this time!!!

I really want to give the award to pretty much all of you, but then you might "rest on pretty" as Tyra says, and not bother to enter the next one! And there WILL be a next one.

So *drrrrrrum rrrrrrroll*... the winner is... The Vegetable Assassin!!!

Please enjoy your custom made Sweet Blogger award, mate - it was a VERY close race.


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And here is the winning entry:

S'up, Sugartits! my little tentacles!

A creamy thing happened to me a nanosecond ago...

I was expertly driving my 131 kids home from midget hockey practice at 4:16 a.m. when I saw something by the side of the road and stopped to look.

It was a warthog! At first i thought it was dead, because it smelled like rotten begonias, but then I saw its taint twitch. I felt stimulated, and picked it up to put it in the car & take it home with us.

"Christ on a pogo stick!" shouted my youngest son.
"That thing is hefty. Can we keep him?"

So we named him Fluffy.

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But wait, there's more!!!
My Mum was also one of my top choices, but she doesn't have a blog and therefore cannot display the award. So instead I'm going to post her entry here too.

Top o' the mornin' my little sheep!

A greasy thing happened to me eons ago...

I was witheringly driving my 7 kids home from hurling practice at morning tea time when I saw something by the side of the road and stopped to look.

It was a caracal lynx! At first i thought it was dead, because it smelled like rotten cockroaches, but then I saw its tongue twitch. I felt dismay, and picked it up to put it in the car & take it home with us.

"Gosh all crimenentlies!**" shouted my youngest son.
"That thing is sweet. Can we keep him?"

So we named him Fluffy.


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*The title of this post has nothing to do with the subject matter of the Mad Blog™ by the way, it's just patented hilarity to say Something II: The Somethinging. And yes I am a retard and had this footnote on the previous post.
Shut up, that's why.

**Uh, what?

Jack Bauer that thing, people.

All right everyone, you have TWENTY-FOUR HOURS to save the President put in an entry for the latest edition of Mad Blogs.

So get creative and get writing/commenting and you could be the recipient of an awesome Sweet Blogger Award, just like The Imaginary Reviewer, who won the inaugural competition with the sheer force of his Britishness.

... Go and enter!


... I mean it!

Over To You: Mad Blogs II

Mad Blogs™ proved to be so popular that I wanted to give it another go.

I will be leaving this one up for a few days though - it seems I did not allow enough time for people to post entries for the first one.

For those of you just joining us, Mad Blogs™ is the blog version of Mad Libs:

1. I give you a list of blanks to fill
2. You respond with your filler words in the comments
3. I pick my favorite set of answers
4. I post the completed Mad Blog™ and a Sweet Blogger award for the winner!

Here is the list of blanks:
greeting
plural noun
adjective
length of time
adverb ending in -ly
number
sport
time of day
animal
plural noun
body part
emotional state
exclamation
adjective

Mad Blogs I: The Mad Blogger.

Mad Blogs™ may just be the best blogging related idea I've ever had. Of course it wouldn't have been as awesome without such fantastic audience participation, so thank you!!! Not one of you failed to make me laugh hysterically with your word choices.

In a way, everyone who commented is a winner.

But in another, more accurate way, The Imaginary Reviewer is the winner. I think his innate Britishness helped the awesomeocity of his verbiage.

I deliver on my promises, and I promised an award, so here is your award, Mr. Reviewer - the custom-made, inaugural Soda & Candy Sweet Blogger Award. It's kind of a big deal.



Please to enjoy the winning entry in Mad Blogs™ Chapter I.

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Hi everyone!

Sorry it's been three generations since my last post. Things have been rotund around the old houseboat.

I just got back from a Johnny 5 trip to Cardiff, visiting my eight-point-three recurring cousins along the way. It was balmy... except for the sleet. I also sprained my spleen, but I recovered tragically.

Work at the pipe maker has been portly too. I work zero hours a day and can barely be bothered to cook up an ocelot burger when I get home. I just sit on the couch and maniacally watch The Golden Girls marathons until it's time for bed.

That only leaves me sixty-six hours a day in which to read and comment on all your blogs, not to mention writing my own debonair posts!



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BONUS MATERIAL

Here's the unadjusted Mad Blog - feel free to substitute your own answers from the last post and post on your blog - let us know if you do in the comments here!!!!

Hi everyone!

Sorry it's been [length of time] since my last post. Things have been [adjective] around the old [type of dwelling].

I just got back from a [mode of transport] trip to [name of city], visiting my [number] cousins along the way. It was [adjective]... except for the [weather condition]. I also sprained my [body part], but I recovered [adverb ending in -ly].

Work at the [type of business] has been [adjective] too. I work [number] hours a day and can barely be bothered to cook up a [animal] burger when I get home. I just sit on the couch and [adverb ending in -ly] watch [TV show] marathons until it's time for bed.

That only leaves me [number] hours a day in which to read and comment on all your blogs, not to mention writing my own [adjective] posts!