Mad Blogs III: Mad Cooking Skills

You guys.

You guys are all such geniuses that I almost couldn't pick a winner. Then I picked one, and then I thought, maybe I should pick someone else, because this person has such an amazingly happy thing happening for them right now that they probably don't even care that much about blog awards (I know, right? Sacrilege.) but then I thought you know what? She made me laugh.

So Cora, even though you're in the process of falling madly in love with our fellow blogger Scope and probably couldn't give two *hoots*, you still win this Sweet Blogger Award!


Congratulations and here is your winning entry!
________________

Hark! Who goes there?! Welcome to Mad Cooking!

Today, we're going to make a really skanky soup that everyone will love. Why, I made this for my evil step-mother, and she left me 22.829117 Russian Roubles in her will!

First, choose a nice piece of lemming. I find that the ass is especially tender.
Dice up and fry the meat, with 69 ounces of butter, in a large frying pan until well browned.

In a large stew pot, bring 666 liters of chicken stock to the boil and simmer. Take 3 cucumbers - making sure they're sweaty! - and chop into small pieces, then add to the stock.

Next, oddly chop up some palm tree and corn, and add to the soup.

Add the meat, simmer for 12 seconds and serve at -19 degrees.

"THIS is American Idol!"! If that doesn't make your dinner guests morose, I don't know what will!
____________________

And just for kicks, here's the blank version so you can see how awesome everyone else was (open the comments pop-up from the entry post and fill in the blanks as you read.)



Greeting! Welcome to Mad Cooking!

Today, we're going to make a really adjective soup that everyone will love. Why, I made this for my female relative, and she left me number unit of currency in her will!

First, choose a nice piece of animal. I find that the body part is especially tender.
Dice up and fry the meat, with number ounces of butter, in a large frying pan until well browned.

In a large stew pot, bring number liters of chicken stock to the boil and simmer. Take 3 vegetables - making sure they're adjective! - and chop into small pieces, then add to the stock.

Next, adverb ending in -ly chop up some plant and vegetable, and add to the soup.

Add the meat, simmer for length of time and serve at temperature.

Exclamation! If that doesn't make your dinner guests emotional state, I don't know what will!