Monday, October 19, 2009

Life Imitates Art, or, The Downfall of Ben Affleck.


While we're waiting for the last few
Secret Sketch entries to come in (deadline is Tuesday night, y'all) here is a bit of celebrity-related nonsense to amuse you!


Apparently this guy, Big Lips McGee*, I mean Chris Pine, is in talks to reprise Harrison Ford's famous role as CIA agent Jack Ryan.


Hey wait... it says that Ben Affleck played Jack Ryan too. Does anyone even remember that movie coming out? I sure don't.

Poor old Ben Affleck. I guess when your career pretty much starts with winning an Oscar there's no place but down... No wait, that doesn't work because (a) he was in movies before Good Will Hunting and (b) his good buddy Matt Damon has gone from strength to strength since then.

Remember that scene in Good Will Hunting when Affleck says to Damon that the best part of his day is hoping Damon won't show up because it means he's moved up to a better type of life? I'm starting to think maybe that happened in real life. Damon saw his friend through the whole Bennifer thing, maybe he even still returned Ben's calls after Daredevil, but once he started hanging with Clooney and Pitt he realized that he was never going to truly succeed in life with the Affleck millstone tied around his neck. So he cut his best mate loose, and now Steven Soderbergh is hanging entire movies on him - and Time Magazine is writing about it.

Meanwhile, Affleck is where? At home making babies with Jennifer Garner.

... Well, I guess that's probably not actually that bad of a life. Carry on, Affleck.


*I mean come on. I spent the whole of the new Star Trek movie thinking about two things: how freakishly giant his lips are, and hot damn Leonard Nimoy is old!

22 comments:

mo.stoneskin said...

I vaguely remember Affleck playing JR in a film about a bomb or something...

Careful focussing on giant lips, they materialise in a bad dream...

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

You know, if I had a dollar for every time I've been mistaken for Chris Pine by a stranger...

I'd be in exactly the same financial situation I'm in right now, actually.

Hunter said...

"..the Affleck millstone..."

Just fantastic!

SkylersDad said...

If I could stay at home with Jennifer Gardner I would never leave the house again!

Laura said...

I may actually disagree with you a bit here! Ben Afleck has actually shown a lot more talent when he gets behind the camera. Gone Baby Gone was absolutely brilliant and was nominated for tons of awards, some of which he actually won and that was only in 2008. Hopefully, he continues the trend and stays behind the camera.

Soda and Candy said...

Mo - "Can't sleep, giant lips will eat me... Can't sleep, giant lips will eat me..." hehehe

TIR - D'oh! I'm sure you're much handsomer.

Hunter - you know, I just thought maybe Affleckbatross could work too but it's a bit obscure.
; )

SkyDad - I don't know, she looks like she could benchpress the average man.

Lola - Oh, I didn't know that! Maybe he decided he'd had enough of the spotlight... Good for him!

Anonymous said...

I remember the Affleck, Jack Ryan. It was The Sum of All Fears, right? It's on TV every five minutes and features that scary nuclear explosion in Baltimore.

I don't think he's any worse an actor than most others out there, he just gets a bad rep. And of course the Jennifer Lopez business was a mistake. He's not terrible, he just appears in some terrible movies whereas Damon's made some better choices.

Affleck needs to do more directing as "Gone Baby Gone" was a pretty damn good movie and he's obviously got talent in the writing/directing area.

Yes, I did just defend Ben Affleck.

Soda and Candy said...

Veggie - I think you're right, I've never thought he was a particularly terrible actor or anything. It's just interesting to see how his career path diverged so spectacularly from Damon's. But you and Lola make a good point about his movie-making.

Chris Gooch said...

To be fair he was pretty good in films like Dazed and Confused, Boiler Room and Hollywoodland but unfotunately he decided to take a paycheck (pun intended) for crappy leading man roles rather than anything else.

That said Gone Baby Gone was probably the best film of 2008 but that only proves that he is a better writer/director than he is an actor. Casey Affleck on the other hand is a bloody good actor.

Eric said...

I would so totally make babies with Jennifer Garner, seriously like every nine months and a day... Lucky bastard.

Trinity said...

Also, If you havent seen Affleck as George Reeves in that SuperMan Bio pick then you need to. He was great in it.

MJenks said...

Highlight of Affleck's career: Chasing Amy

Lowlight: Jersey Girl

Farnnay said...

LOL. so true about affleck.

and that guy that you have a picture of looks so familiar, but i dont know where i saw him. hmmmmmmmm

Soda and Candy said...

mysterg - Good point. The choice of which films to do seems almost as important as the actual ability to act, maybe even more so (hello Nic Cage, Clive Owen and so on)

Eric - Heehee, you would have little time for sculpting then!

Trinity - Oh yeah, I heard of that. Maybe I will NetFlix it!

mjenks - Heh. I have seen most of Chasing Amy and sadly all of Jersey Girl. I haven't seen any of Gigli though,that was supposed to be a huge turkey.

CA - The new Star Trek movie, probably. I've no idea if he's even been in anything else.

Cora said...

Carry on, Affleck ~ HAHAHAHA!!

tennysoneehemingway said...

I think I'm agreement with most when I say making babies with Jennifer Garner wouldn't be a bad compromise on film stardom.

Soda and Candy said...

Cora - Like he needs my permission, right? hehe

Tennyson - Hey for the right money, I might... uh I mean sure, that'd be great for GUYS...
; )

words...words...words... said...

I like Chris Pine, but he is a terrible choice for Jack Ryan. Alec Baldwin was the best one. He IS the Jack Ryan of the books.

Tony Russo said...

The Jack Ryan movie was "The Sum of All Fears" It probably wouldn't have been that good anyway but it was about a terrorist plot that killed thousands of Americans at the Super Bowl. Two guesses when it was due to be released.
I'm no Ben Affleck apologist but he should get a pass on that one. What's interesting is to think whether that film hurt him bad enough to go for the tripe that followed.
Whoops, my bad. A quick IMDB check blows that theory out of the water.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Ok - I can't believe I'm defending Ben Affleck, but I'm with Lola - he's turning out to be a terrific director and screenwriter. I don't think his acting days are behind him, but I think he is smart to keep his roles small and/or independent (like the stoner bartender in Extract - he kind of stole the show) until the taint of the career ruining JLo thing cakes off. It could be awhile because that whole thing was horrifying. Gigli happened in 2003 so I'm going to say a full 10 years for the stank to be fully removed. 2013 is going to be Ben Afflecks year.

Anonymous said...

Ben Affleck is a stone fox.

There. I said it.

That said, I had totally forgotten about Daredevil. Yeesh.

Soda and Candy said...

WWW - You will shake your head sadly at me, but I had no idea Alec played Jack Ryan as well!

Tony Russo - Hmm yeah that does seem like bad timing!

The Lady - Hi, welcome! All right I will mark my calendar - 2013 it is!
; )

Missrandell - Hello dear! I would say *was* a stone fox, like Keanu he has not aged as well as others. *ahem*Clooney*ahem*Pitt*ahem*