Real Car Scents

Confirmed Bachelor
The ladies will be sure to know you're oh-so-available when they catch a whiff of this vague, mildewy scent with subtle undertones of Parmesan and gym socks.

Axe™ Miasma
Works on your car just like it does on your body! Drench your ride in an overpowering musk of hormones and desperation.

Nicotine Fug
Want to appear cooler to your friends? More stressed out to your boss or colleagues? Fill your car with the all-pervading, persistent aroma of two packs a day.

Playgroup
Just because you don't drive a minivan doesn't mean your vehicle can't have that soaked-in essence of apple juice, cookie crumbs and warm urine.

Pimping and Low Grade Extortion.

Check out the ridiculously awesome* loungey header I made as a present for everyone's favorite knight, Words... words... words....

Maybe it's not as sexy as the portrait I did for my homegirl Vegetable Assassin, which she turned into her header (I'm crap at drawing boys). But let's face it, his old header needed to be put out of its pixelated misery.

Let me make this clear - I don't do these by request. I'll do it if:

1. I feel like doing something
and
2. I like you / your blog
and
3. You deserve it
and
4. I have a good idea

or
5. You will pay me. Especially if you would like to pay me exorbitant sums. Those are my favorite kind of sums.

Feel free to leave job offers in the comments : )


*As a wise man once said, it ain't trickin' if you got it.

Redact This.

Don't you hate it when bloggers write those posts that are all mysterious because they want to complain about something that's going on in their real life, but they can't give any details, because they don't want to give up their sweet precious anonymity*?

It's like the blogger's emotions are soldiers writing home to Ma, but the blogger's brain is the army, intercepting their letters and removing any potentially damaging information:



*Which is not to say that I don't understand why people do it. Or that I won't ever write such a post.

uh-oh, addiction!

so I kind of got addicted to the emo album meme:

Health Food Makes Me Sick, the new album from indie darlings LaVergne.

Somebody to Divide it With, by Stellar Association.

Raw Treasures Volume 1 (actually an album name, sadly) by Extravagances of the Poor (not a real band name)

Hours in the Library, by The Blue Sickness.

and (my favorite design)
You Talk to Your Enemies by Molalla Oregon.



Don't judge me.

All the cool kids are doing it.

(This is modified from a Facebook game, in case you have not heard of it before and are a Luddite, in which case, get off the internet before God smites you.)

You put these three elements together to make your emo band's first album.

1 - Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random”
( click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random )
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to “Random quotations”
( click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 )
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
( click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days )
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together. And you all know about my mad Photoshop skillz.

Here's mine:
Find out who we are, the debut album from Totonacan Languages.

Hey, if you do this meme, post a link in the comments, 'kay?

Lost Merchandising Opportunity

I guess Mel Gibson was too busy hating on Jewish people or whatever, because he totally failed to come up with the perfect merchandising tie-in for his Mayan epic, Apocalypto:

Apocalypt-Os! Delicious*.




*Until 2012.