Dear Mr. Leopard,
Would you mind awfully if I made you into a coat? It's just that your fur is ridiculously beautiful. Even up close it looks almost hand-painted. Are you really just a mountain lion with a talented hairdresser?
If you don't want to be made into a coat, I guess I could settle for keeping you as a pet, but you'd have to consent to wearing a sparkly collar and being patted a lot.
Let me know.
Love,
Soda & Candy
22 comments:
Well, if you do keep him as a pet, don't try to make him change his spots. I hear it's really hard.
I've always wanted a cheetah with a diamond studded collar a la Josephine Baker.
I am pretty sure it is a bad idea to keep those as pets. The food bills alone would be killer
BeckEye - Hahahahaha, perfect.
Prosy - Right? So fierce.
Trinity - Meh, there is an endless supply of squirrels in my neighborhood!
While I couldn't condone making him into a coat, I do agree that it would be a fabulous garment. How about if he agreed to be draped over your shoulders and you could carry him around like Siegfried and Roy-- um, I mean, an awesome shawl.
KAT - You are right of course, it is very bad to wear real furs. But your solution is win/win genius!
Fur coats. Exotic pets...
When did you become a hip hop mogul? And can I be in your entourage?
Hunter - Sure, you can carry my medallion collection!
; )
I am a vegetarian wearing a leather coat and I approve of this message.
I also kind of want to BE a cheetah. They are so sexy.
And I love your blog. Click. follow.
Hannah - Thank you!!! Cheetahs are definitely sexy, like all the big cats. My favorite is the tiger.
I would not want a cheetah.
Cheetahs never prosper.
Oh. My. Gawd.
I sooooo am coveting a beeeutiful leopard coat..not kidding.
Of course if Mr. Leopard has a problem with this I could always go the faux route.
Scope - Ahahahahahaha! Nice.
Candy - I know. Faux is the way to go though. And much cheaper too!
It would make a good vinyl wrap for the Aston Martin I want to get.
Eric - You sure you don't mean a Jaguar?
;)
What about hamster coats? I always fancied one of those, Might take a few, but it would look cute.
Madame - Awww, it would take FAR too many. What about a transparent coat with a million pockets to keep the hammies in?
My friend once dated someone who had an exotic animal license. While they were high at the house, a baboon escaped form its cage. You can pretty much imagine that it was either the best high ever or the worst high ever.
I say you get your leopard coat and I get a Cadillac convertible with giant steer horns on the grille. Then we can each have an emergency contact when PETA comes for us.
Lola - You'd just be going, "Never mind, I'm obviously hallucinating all this!" as the baboon destroyed your house.
WWW - Deal. hahahahahhaha
You shoulda told me you were looking for leopard skin coats. I already done been selling mad fur coats out my trunk... don't act like the leopard ones ain't been going like hotcakes, kid! For real real. I can hook you up at the special blog homeslice rate of $29 or two for $50. Holla atcha boy.
Aw yeah, my boy Joshlos knows how to act! Hook a sister up with two of them coats, boy.
; )
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