Monday, September 7, 2009

Make sense? Wanna know what you're playing for?

Survivor is about to be back on for its 27th season. I'm pretty sure Jeff Probst can just go ahead & print his own money now. In fact I imagine his last salary negotiation went something like this:

[SCENE: Interior, CBS boardroom.
Executives sit around a table the size of a swimming pool. JEFF PROBST enters. He is wearing chunky gold rings on each finger, heavy chains about his neck and a floor-length fur coat.]


JEFF PROBST: Fifty virgins by tomorrow, or I walk.

CONCERNED EXECUTIVE: But Jeff...

JEFF PROBST: Ah-bah-bah! [peremptorily waves beringed hand] Fifty.


[FIN]

22 comments:

Esmé Glass said...

Is it weird that I think Jeff Probst is a "would"?

rachaelgking said...

"He is wearing chunky gold rings on each finger, heavy chains about his neck and a floor-length fur coat."

Don't forget his big ass pimp hat.

Farnnay said...

It's been on for THAT many SEASONS. oh my freaking goodness! that is ridiculous!

miss. chief said...

yep i bet that's exactly how it goes down

Gwen said...

I know! I'm so excited. I freaking love that show.

Simon Butler said...

“…and a fully-qualified assistant to deflower them for me.”

Cooper Green said...

He'll be sorry he asked for fifty. After the first dozen or so, he'll be wishing for somebody who had a clue what they were doing.

Soda and Candy said...

Racquel - He's no Mike Rowe, but he's all right!
; )

Lilu - Aww yeah! Humor and grammmar nazism, my favorite things!

CA - I'm sure I'm exaggerating, but probably not by much.

miss.chief - *nods wisely*

Gwen - Heehee! I still wish they'd go somewhere crazy different though.

Simon - Pshhh, that's so unrealistic! ; )

Coop - Hahahahahaha, there is that.

mo.stoneskin said...

Never seen it, but I would never trust anyone with huge chunky rings on each finger. Unless I was tying something to them so that it wouldn't blow away.

Soda and Candy said...

Mo - Hehehe. But what about the Phantom??? I guess he just has the one chunky ring, not tons of them.

SkylersDad said...

With my luck my 50 virgins would be a room full of Nuns...

Soda and Candy said...

Skydad - Could be worse - monks?
: )

words...words...words... said...

Methinks Mr. Probst is vastly overestimating his role in the success of the show. I would make a counteroffer of 49 virgin strawberry daquiris and one well-worn ho.

tennysoneehemingway said...

That's your first episode of Survivor right there. Survivor 27 - the devirgining. Fifty virgins compete to see who WON'T be deflowered by Jeff Probst. No longer will the tribe speak, the tribe will now scream.

Anonymous said...

That show is STILL on? Haven't they run out of places to survive yet?

BeckEye said...

I watch a lot of crap TV, but I'm strangely proud of the fact that I've never seen one episode of Survivor.

Sally-Sal said...

Ha! I'd settle for 50 oreos. Who am I kidding? 52...

Eric said...

LOL @SkylersDad...
He didn't specify female, d'oh.

Soda and Candy said...

WWW - Hahahaa! But seriously, I just can't imagine that show without J-Pro.

Tenny - They'd have to do it in the first ep, because after a couple weeks without a shower? Blechhh.

Well-Fed - I KNOW, right?! I still think Survivor Antarctica should be the next season.

BeckEye - There are lots of shows of which I wish I could say the same. Big Brother is one of them. Ick.

Sally-Sal - I'd prefer Oreos.

Eric - Hehehee : )

Madame DeFarge said...

And I've never seen this show. Does that make me weird or what?

Anonymous said...

OMG... hahahah HEY Maybe it's Jeff Probst that stole my "twinkie" hehehehe Mystery solved. Greedy bastard. KIDDING actually I think he's hot. Seriously. What? Hu? Why are you laughing...

Soda and Candy said...

MadameDeF - Not at all! It probably makes this post less funny to you...

Twinkie - Yeeees, it was Jeff... *shifty eyes*