Over To You: Which Would You Be?

Would you rather be a pet:

dog
cat
bird
or
fish
?

I vote cat, because they sleep for 16 hours a day and do whatever the hell they feel like for the other 8, and people still love them a lot. I would be a nice petite black cat with a white chest and white socks, because it's classy and black goes with everything.

Soda Fountain of Knowledge (Language Edition): Shirty

shirty: (idiom) Aust.

Unreasonably bad-tempered or annoyed. As in "Someone's shirty today!" or "Don't get shirty with me!"

The best use of the word shirty was a recurring segment called Shirty the Slighty Aggressive Bear, on a late 90's Australian sketch comedy show called The Late Show (clip here. I have no desire to learn how to embed YouTubes).

Soda Fountain of Knowledge (Language Edition): Torch

torch: (n.) Aust.

A hand-held electric light, usually battery operated.

Commonly referred to in North America as a flashlight.

Notes: To North Americans, a torch is a flaming stick usually used by members of an angry mob on the lookout for Frankenstein's monster. Thusly, consternation is caused among Americans when an Australian casually mentions that they need a torch to look for something. Right, husband?

Americans Say The Darnedest Things

"So, are there any cities in Australia, or is it all just Outback?"

Really?

Soda Fountain of Knowledge (Language Edition): Doona

doona: (n.) Aust.

A padded bed covering to go on top of bedsheets. Also called a quilt, but is thicker than the traditionally handmade type of quilt.

Commonly referred to in Britain as a duvet, and in North America as a comforter.

Wikipedia offers us this explanation for the etymology of doona (link to full entry here):
In Australia, a duvet or down quilt is often called a "Doona", which is a genericized trademark (registered to the Tontine Group) which is derived from the equivalent common Scandinavian term dyne and popularized by the retailer IKEA in the 1970s. Originally the term continental quilt was the standard name used across Australia, and some regions continue to use this term.

uh-oh, addiction!

so I kind of got addicted to the emo album meme:

Health Food Makes Me Sick, the new album from indie darlings LaVergne.

Somebody to Divide it With, by Stellar Association.

Raw Treasures Volume 1 (actually an album name, sadly) by Extravagances of the Poor (not a real band name)

Hours in the Library, by The Blue Sickness.

and (my favorite design)
You Talk to Your Enemies by Molalla Oregon.



Don't judge me.

Analyze This. I Dare You.

I was visiting Australia, on my way to have dinner with two friends. At the bus stop, there was a young woman, a kindly old lady and a skeevy young dude. The old lady leered and creepily presented the younger lady with an uncooked hot dog from her purse.

When I arrived at the restaurant, I told my friends about this, but even though it had just happened, I already changed parts of the story (this is something I do frequently. I call it enhancement).

Then I was at the beach. Suddenly a giant white tube started coming up out of the ocean. It turned into a Chinese dragon, similar to Falkor from The Neverending Story, except not as furry. It looked like it was made of plastic. It began to speak and told us that was an alien god and that it would tell us the meaning of life. The words began to form on a giant tablet rising out of the ocean...

And then I woke up.