It's just really, really close to it.
I know what you're going to say - "But Soda & Candy, Jason Statham takes his shirt off!"
This is very true, but he does that in literally every movie he's in, and all of them are a gazillion times better than Crank: High Voltage.
Full disclosure: I enjoyed the first Crank movie. The "plot" was ridiculous, the dialogue was ordinary and the acting was sub-par, but it was cheeky and reasonably fun and I seem to remember the action sequences being decent, which let's face it is the selling point of most Statham movies.
Crank: High Voltage on the other hand, had terrible plot, dialogue and acting, but the action was also super ordinary, not to mention the bonus graphic sexualized violence, racism, homophobia and just incredibly-high-level misogyny which I don't seem to remember the first one having.
What's your worst movie ever?
30 comments:
Ishtar, by a mile!
That movie sounds absolutely horrendous, Soda, despite the obvious goodness of a shirtless Jason Stratham. You should give yourself some kind of sugary treat for actually sitting through the whole thing, with a second helping afterwards for the hilarious post!
My "Unrecommended Viewing" selection for 2009 would, without a doubt, have to be Transformers 2. I regretted shelling out the $10 for the ticket within the first five minutes of the movie, although in hindsight that shouldn't really have come as a surprise. That'll learn me good for having semi-unreasonable expectations of movies - you know, like a coherent plot and such.
Has to be a film called Space Zombie Bingo. It's by Troma Studios, so it's intentionally bad, but there are some films that are so bad, no amount of intentionality can help them. Plus the video cover had scantily-clad space babes on the cover and they weren't in the film, so added disappoint there.
SkyDad - You're a fan of the classics, I see.
: )
Teacup - You know, sadly I still want to see that, but I do suspect I'll end up wishing I was just watching the first one again.
TIR - Boooo false advertising!!! I think you're right, I've seen bits of Troma stuff and it's just... dodgy.
The worst movie I ever saw, I believe was called "house of the dead." It was just horrible.
I had fun watching crank 1 but that's it. I shall not waste my time on the sequel, thanks!
My first impulse was to blurt out 'Wanted' with Angelina Jolee, you know, the one with the rambling plot where they can curve bullet trajectories.
But then I really thought about it and am still ticked off about
1) The 13th Warrior
2) Hotel (oh God, what was this all about, it seemed so promising being set in Venice and all)
3) Tailor of Panama
Gah... If I had to choose between all that monkey vomit, I'd go with Hotel. Please do NOT see this under any circumstances. I'll mail it to you because I want it out of my collection (I'm afraid to just throw it in the garbage because someone might think it is a movie worth watching).
ahhh i cant think of my worst movie ever, but there were SO many. oooo wait like this one "the day the earth stood still" or something stupid like that with keanu reeves. ughhhh soooooooooooo stupid.
and is crank an aussie movie?
Mr C - Wow, this post was like a PSA!
Eric - Hahaha, at least Wanted *looked* good though, even if it had no brain. Hotel sounds like a horror movie, in which case I have no intention of watching it.
CA - I know, once you start thinking about it you could end up with a very long list!!!
Can anyone say "Dune"?
Borat. God I hated every moment of that.
hmmm... well I hate to admit this, but we pirate pretty much any movie we see, so I usually don't regret watching the movie, although I know I've seen some bad ones.
Jason Statham is ridiculously hot. Maybe I'll get a copy of the movie and put it on mute and make up my own dialogue
i have to agree with the girl, transformers was the biggest disappointment of 09.
i have to disagree with eric, Wanted is in my top 25.
the only movie I have ever walked out of theaters on is The Spirit.
Worst movie I had to sit through because my friends wanted to watch it: Twilight.
Those are my picks.
I can't do justice to the question - there are lots of films I have either a) walked out of the cinema during or b) switched off at home, but I can't remember many of them right now. A recent one was The Transporter 2 (also Jason Statham), I enjoyed the first, it was new, fast and fun, though silly I suppose. The second, it was totally pants.
Depends whether you mean 'bad' or 'so bad it's brilliant'. If it's the latter for me it's got to be Gigli.
It's as hard to choose a 'worst' movie as a 'best' one. So I'll go with a 'worst movie that's supposed to be good', if I may. Or 'Most overrated', perhaps. Or at least 'Movie I hated that everyone else loved, and I don't understand why'. Here it is (and I've been run out of town with pitchforks for saying so) -- "The Matrix".
Maybe it was just the presence of Keanu Reeves.
Here's the worst movie I've seen in the last few weeks: "Destination Moon", made in 1950. Hilariously bad; but sweet.
Well, the poster itself is ample warning, but thanks for reminding me that sometimes it's okay to judge a book by its cover.
I've only walked out of one movie at the theater- Queen of the Damned.
And I'm a big Anne Rice fan too. I couldn't stand more than 15 minutes of it. Sucked ass.
Something I always look for when I'm deciding what to watch is a guy with jumper cables on his lip. I also look for that when my battery is dead.
Scope - I've heard that, but I can't force myself to chew through the book, so I hope someone makes a good movie version one day.
Tenny - I haven't seen it, but the Ali G movie was woeful too. It's like they forgot why those characters work.
Valerie - I'm shocked at you and would certainly never do that. Ahem. Also, you do not want to watch this movie even on mute. Some of the visuals... *shudder* Just get Transporter out again!
Mr O - Was The Spirit that Sin City rip-off? That looked terrible.
Mo - Heh, "pants". I love English people!
Mr LS - Is that pronounced Giggly, or Jiggly?
G Henry - But he's so good at looking confused and saying Whoa! It was the perfect role for him.
katrocket - The poster is the best part!
Erin - It's hard to walk out sometimes, you want to know how it ends even if it makes you all huffy. But if you read the book already I guess it's different.
Cooper - Sadly misleading in this case.
I’ve seen plenty of really terrible films in my time, but of course it’s the good ones you tend to remember, not the bad ones, so I’ll have to go with G Henry and his remark about The Matrix – one of the most ridiculously overrated films I’ve ever seen. Another example was The Blair Witch Project, which I eventually watched on TV after years of hearing how brilliant it was… and wondering what the hell the fuss was about.
I was relieved to see Valerie’s remark though. I thought it was only us blokes who watched films solely because there was an attractive girl in, and killed the sound (and fast-forwarded through all the bits without the girl in). Disgraceful, I know, but sadly true.
gaaaaaah!!! Now I WANT to watch Crank 2 just to see how bad it REALLY is....
yeah. pathetic. I know!
Mulholland Drive is the WORST ever. It's just weird for weirdness' sake.
Yeah, there should be two different categories for bad movies. The first should be so-bad-I-couldn't-sit-through-it (which is The Shadow with Alec Baldwin for me) and the next should be so-bad-it's-good (Hudson Hawk amoung others)
The first Crank fits in the second category for me. The plot was so outrageous, so utterly ridiculous that I loved it.
Simon - I feel the same about Pulp Fiction, which will no doubt have me booed out of town - and it's the only Tarantino I've bothered to watch. Also I've never done that fast forwarding thing, but generally the actors I like are actually good actors as well and not just eye candy (Johnny Depp, for example)
Twinkie - Noooooooo!!! Don't do it, you'll be scarred for life!
BeckEye - Ugh, yeah I don't get David Lynch. Weird is okay if there's a point to it, or if it's stylized/French like City of Lost Children or Amelie.
Lola - I'm with you on that, I enjoyed the first Crank partly because it was so silly, but it was in a cheeky way, not a gross way.
The SciFi channel did make two pretty good mini-serieses out of the first two Dune books.
I don't NetFLix, but I would be stunned if they aren't there.
The Watchmen...and most Indian movies that I've seen.
Oh and surprisingly this is my first time here...sorry!!!
Scope - The SciFi channel? Good? Hmmmm...
; )
CC - Fair enough. I thought Watchmen was pretty good, but I can understand feeling different.
Two words: "Open Water."
Let me save you some time: a couple ends up taking a vacation they argue about taking in the first place, go on some sort of snorkeling or scuba trip while on vacation, get left behind on the trip, float around in the ocean all evening and overnight bickering about whose fault it was they were stuck floating in the ocean, get eaten by sharks. The end.
It may have been better if they actually showed these people being eaten like snacks, but sans that? Terrible movie. Terrible waste of time.
Josh - Ugh, I remember seeing ads for that. Worse than SmartSharks™, aka Deep Blue.
Oh god S&C I watched this movie.
What an incredible waste of time!
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